Dynallision IV: Guns of the Patriots

[00:00:07] Speaker A: In the beginning, the earth was a dark, formless void. But then God spoke and said, let there be wrestling. And with that, there was Monday, and wrestling happened on Mondays. And God looked upon her works and said, holy shit, that's a lot of racism in video packages. On the second day, God got depressed and lo, did she post about it on the DVD VR forums. And with that, there was Tuesday. On the third day, God said, let there be Wednesday. And lo, did the people reply unto her. We know what that means. [00:00:56] Speaker B: To. To quote one of my favorite trans women of all time, who absolutely gets me, Kurt Cobain. I have never failed to fail. Welcome back to Wednesday night Fake Fights. It's a me. It's Ella, and we are still here. And we are talking about AEW every week with the Wrestle Queers. Number one, wrestlequeer. Erica. The length words. Hi, how are you? [00:01:18] Speaker A: Hi. I'm kind of tired. I've been up since 5am I. I went all the way up to. I went all the way out to Thumbs up Cheap Pop. Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania. [00:01:31] Speaker C: Hey, [00:01:38] Speaker A: The next, next two weeks, I will be cat sitting my sister's cats. [00:01:42] Speaker B: Nice. [00:01:43] Speaker A: Nice. [00:01:44] Speaker B: Glorious Mechanicsville. [00:01:46] Speaker A: Mechanicsburg Mechanics. We had. We had Germans in this part of the country. [00:01:52] Speaker B: Yes. [00:01:53] Speaker A: Back when the whites were doing their thing and had. [00:01:58] Speaker B: There was many varieties of us instead of just all the one. The one class, which, you know, the Amish. [00:02:05] Speaker A: It's the Amish's fault. [00:02:06] Speaker B: Ah. Oh, there you go. Hey, they're not so bad. I like me a. I've just kind of been rum springing for 37 years, let's just say. And the other most wonderful wrestle queer apple of my eye. Yo soy after sero. [00:02:27] Speaker C: After sero. Yeah. I'm gonna do a good old traditional entrance and just use the nacho cheese pyro, which we haven't done in a while. Pondering the. [00:02:40] Speaker B: Or Classic. Classic. Classic Hamper Sharrow. [00:02:44] Speaker A: We gotta. We gotta get you to. You gotta point at the sign next time, you know? Next time. Yes. Make sure you point at the sign. [00:02:55] Speaker C: That's me. [00:02:57] Speaker B: That's me. I'm Hampter Sero. [00:03:01] Speaker C: Hampter Sero. [00:03:02] Speaker A: I'm Hampter Sero. And you ain't. [00:03:05] Speaker B: Or what's even better is if you do the nacho cheese pyro, but you do the Goldberg entrance. So it just hits you like you. Like you just walk into it and you come out instead of. Instead of breathing the smoke, you're just spitting out nacho cheese as you walk down. Yeah. [00:03:24] Speaker C: Get the jalapenos on Top of it too. That's such a good defense. Okay, okay, we're talking with the homunculi or the. [00:03:32] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're doing burn damage. [00:03:34] Speaker A: But see, I would, I would, I would, I would go with the Batista one because then you get like, you can do like the machine gun. [00:03:41] Speaker B: Yeah. But with cheese. Xavier woods in the back losing his. [00:03:51] Speaker C: I just could get a nacho cannon, like a shirt cannon, but it's just a full seven layer nacho plate. [00:03:59] Speaker A: And then you can shoot one into Tony Chimble's balls. Yeah. [00:04:05] Speaker C: Honestly, so sick. [00:04:11] Speaker B: That's one of my all time favorite things on Pachamania. He just loses his mind. They know what they're doing. They're with me. [00:04:21] Speaker A: And Taz is losing it on commentary. Taz commentary. For like 25 years at this point. [00:04:28] Speaker B: Yes, it's 19. [00:04:30] Speaker A: Special little guy. [00:04:34] Speaker B: Oh, so fantastic. Where is our special little guy this week? [00:04:38] Speaker A: This week the special little guy is coming to us live from Dinolision four Guns of the Patriots and. [00:04:48] Speaker C: Oh, right. [00:04:48] Speaker A: Eventually we're going to run out of Metal Gear Solid games. We're going to run out of Metal Gear Solid games, to name these episodes after. And I, I don't know what will go. Like, we're eventually going to have like Dinolution revengeance, but that is not. [00:05:01] Speaker B: Oh, today we'll figure it out. We'll find out a new. A new video game series that needs to be run into the ground with our shenanigans. [00:05:11] Speaker A: Yes, yes, we are. We are emanating from Portland, Maine. And apparently this is like the first time in 30 years they've had televised pro wrestling show taped in Portland. Oh, yeah, I think I saw that somewhere. I did not fact check it. [00:05:28] Speaker B: Do we, do we care for old timey wrestling knowledge? [00:05:34] Speaker A: I mean, I think it's relevant if. Yes, it's like the north, like the whole Northeast in New England is. Has always been fed territory. And yes, it's not like there's anything in Maine necessarily like. [00:05:48] Speaker B: Yes. Which is what makes this so funny because when little Vinnie Mac decided that he wanted to be his. His dad's special boy, and he was like, I want to work for the fed, Papa. And he was like, go up to mane to make that work, Papa. I want to work for the business is like, oh, what the. [00:06:09] Speaker A: You know, why do you talk like that? [00:06:14] Speaker B: Please. [00:06:15] Speaker C: Oh, okay. So the last professional. [00:06:18] Speaker B: Get the up the main. Jesus Christ. [00:06:21] Speaker C: The last professional wrestling event in Portland, Maine was Limitless Fresh Blood by Limitless Wrestling. [00:06:29] Speaker A: Okay. [00:06:30] Speaker C: Where Chris Statlander wrestled oh, yeah. [00:06:34] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I'm talking, I'm talking about, like, like a televised though. [00:06:39] Speaker C: Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay. [00:06:40] Speaker A: Aw. WWF. [00:06:42] Speaker C: Oh, okay. [00:06:42] Speaker A: Okay. [00:06:43] Speaker B: Imagine it's been a while. [00:06:45] Speaker C: Oh, raw, December 8th, 1997. [00:06:48] Speaker B: Damn. [00:06:49] Speaker A: Holy. [00:06:49] Speaker C: Oh, so I should have. Oh, oh, wait. Okay. I, I, I'm in that year. I will see that later this year. [00:06:57] Speaker A: Oh, okay. [00:06:57] Speaker B: Oh, I was gonna say, you are, you are our gods help you. The Monday night correspondent now. February. Oh, my God, you're. Oh, bud. [00:07:11] Speaker C: And before that was, it was a House, a WWF house show in 1991. So that was. [00:07:18] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm guessing. That's weird. I don't know if it's a regulatory thing or maybe Vince went there and, and, and they were like, never again. [00:07:27] Speaker A: I mean, like, it's probably scheduling, to be honest with you. Yeah, like, there's like the, the big cities in Portland that I know of are. Sorry, in Maine are Portland and Bangor. [00:07:41] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:07:41] Speaker A: And it's not like there's, you know. [00:07:44] Speaker B: Well, they wouldn't, they wouldn't let, they wouldn't let Vince and Bangor because he wouldn't be able to help himself. [00:07:50] Speaker C: Yikes. [00:07:54] Speaker B: Hardly no war. [00:07:56] Speaker C: It would make sense because, like, Maine is butting up right, against like, Quebec City and New Brunswick and like Canada. So if they doing a candidate towards. Sure, but like, other than that, that's way far north. [00:08:08] Speaker A: Well, that's also the other thing is, like, most of Maine, we're doing, we're doing u. S. Geography. I've been to Maine. Most of most of, like, the population lives, like, in that south portion borders the states. Like, the whole north part is the Northwoods, and the Northwoods is up and, you know, it's in the Northwoods. I will never stop. Maine is actually perfect for this week for, for cryptid of the week, because Maine is the home of the international cryptid museum or cryptozoology museum. [00:08:50] Speaker C: Oh, cool. It's international too. [00:08:53] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, hot dm because like, cryptozoology is, like, actually kind of a real science. Like, that's how they found, like, the coelacanth. Right. Like, that was. [00:09:03] Speaker B: Yes. Hidden animals, technically. Yeah. [00:09:06] Speaker A: But this museum has an exhibit of bigfoot poop. [00:09:11] Speaker B: Nice. I, I, I don't, I don't think I want to see that, but all right. [00:09:17] Speaker A: Yeah, he's weird. [00:09:18] Speaker C: When you see human feces in the wild. [00:09:21] Speaker A: Yes. [00:09:22] Speaker B: But then there's a little, but then there's a little plaque that's like this, this poop came from a human in a gorilla costume. [00:09:31] Speaker A: Presumably it would be found near, like, Footprints. [00:09:35] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:09:36] Speaker A: So that's why I'd be like, ah, a Bigfoot. [00:09:38] Speaker B: She did an art project earlier. [00:09:41] Speaker A: A little turd like. As for like actual Cryptids there. The only one that I found that was like I found actually this is another twofer. Mostly a twofer. They have, they have a thing called. [00:09:54] Speaker B: This will get you through all of them faster and we can stop the bit. [00:09:57] Speaker A: This makes me happy also, and I think I should be happy. And I'm never going to stop the bit because I have. I got cryptids all over. All right, there's, there's a spectrum, there's a. There's a thing called the Specter Moose. [00:10:09] Speaker B: No way. Is it what it sounds like? [00:10:13] Speaker A: That's exactly what it says. It's a big, big spiritual looking moose with 44 points on the horns. It's got like 22 on each horn. [00:10:23] Speaker B: Oh, that's a 34 pointer there. God damn. [00:10:26] Speaker A: 44, 44. [00:10:28] Speaker B: 44 pointer there. [00:10:30] Speaker A: Holy. It's like a big ethereal moose. And it apparently portends disasters sometimes. Oh, never mind. And you can't shoot it. Can't shoot it. [00:10:44] Speaker B: Can't shoot it goes right through. It's a ghost. Yeah, so it sounds. So it's got the Mothman quality of portending disasters. That's nice. [00:10:54] Speaker A: That's not a thing for the Mothman. Yes, common misconception. [00:10:58] Speaker B: No, that's literally his whole thing is like this bridge is. [00:11:01] Speaker A: That's not his thing. Hey, that's not his thing. Guys, guys, listen. Who, who, who's the cryptid expert here? I'm telling you, I'm telling you. Mothman. Mothman as a portent of doom is misrepresentation of facts and science. [00:11:19] Speaker B: Just saying. Maybe we should watch out. [00:11:21] Speaker C: I'm so fascinated by this. I'm. [00:11:23] Speaker A: I. You say Mothman prophecies. That's not even the actual story of the Mothman. [00:11:28] Speaker B: No, I didn't say Mothman prophecies. I did not. I said. I, I said you should. I just think that maybe you should worry about this bridge. That's all I said. [00:11:36] Speaker A: Well, the buff man did not say all about the bridge, so why would anybody think to think about the bridge? Yeah. So, yeah, I don't know what makes it bigger than a bit regular moose. Because moose are gigantic. [00:11:49] Speaker B: Moose are already here. [00:11:51] Speaker A: They're like megafauna. So. [00:11:55] Speaker C: Yes. [00:11:56] Speaker A: It reminds me of the El. There's like, there's an Elden ring boss that's basically just a giant moose. [00:12:00] Speaker B: So that, that's fine. Yeah, I would say have you all ever seen, like, a moose in person? [00:12:05] Speaker C: No. [00:12:07] Speaker B: They're horrifying. It's. It's like seeing a Cryptid. Like, it could just be a moose. [00:12:13] Speaker A: It's probably just a moose. It's probably just, like, a white albino moose. And so, yeah, it's probably. [00:12:17] Speaker B: Yeah, it's just an albino moose. And they're like, shit's bell, man. Go check the bridge. Go check the bridge. Like, if something like that. [00:12:25] Speaker C: I would absolutely check the bridge and my bridge. [00:12:28] Speaker A: It's not a bridge. It didn't do anything. But the bridge. There's. Oh. So the. The other one. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna tell the full story because the full story is literally definitely just, like, two. A couple went in the woods, took some acid and tripped. But there is a. There's a main. There's a main Bunny man story. [00:12:46] Speaker C: We got a bunny man. Hell, yeah. [00:12:50] Speaker A: It's a different Bunnyman, though. It involves. It also involves a giant dead cow and an orgy in a barn. [00:12:58] Speaker C: Oh, wow. [00:12:59] Speaker B: I like one of four of those. [00:13:01] Speaker C: Just like an outlast, too. [00:13:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:06] Speaker B: Other. You get some barn. Hey, I used to hang out in a barn. Okay. [00:13:10] Speaker A: It's weird. [00:13:13] Speaker B: That's a story for a different Patreon episode. [00:13:16] Speaker A: It's weird. Yeah. It was like they were. Because it wasn't just. It wasn't just they're having an orgy in a barn. They were having an orgy in the ceiling of a barn. So this couple was just high as. Yeah, I would say go look up. If you want to actually know more about that, go look up Kryptonaut podcast. Talk about Big Cow and Bunnyman episode. Because that cow and buddy man, that's what they call the episode of Big Cow and buddy Man. [00:13:45] Speaker B: Those were both my names in high school. [00:13:48] Speaker C: Just the craziest C chair pairing ever. [00:13:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:58] Speaker B: Has a cuck pit. [00:14:00] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. [00:14:01] Speaker A: I imagine they had a cook pit. [00:14:03] Speaker B: It's like a cockpit. [00:14:04] Speaker C: What do you think? [00:14:04] Speaker B: There's no There. There's no happening there. [00:14:08] Speaker A: No. Somebody got shot during this whole thing that happened. Yeah, I think that. I think the. The boyfriend got shot. [00:14:16] Speaker B: Oh, no. All right, well, never mind. [00:14:17] Speaker A: You're killing the bunny man. Well, in the leg. In the leg. He lived. [00:14:21] Speaker B: Okay, that's fine. [00:14:23] Speaker A: He lived, but it was like, oh, I was shot by the bunny man. It was like, you shot yourself. You LS so. [00:14:30] Speaker B: You. Yeah. So you dropped acid and shot yourself. Cool. We've all been there. [00:14:37] Speaker C: As a Midwesterner, that's just a Sunday, honestly. [00:14:41] Speaker A: So the actual meat and potatoes of the episode. I had meat and potatoes for dinner. It was nice. [00:14:46] Speaker C: Yummo. [00:14:48] Speaker A: So we had a pre tape promo with Chris Jericho and the Young Bucks and they're at the. The Lighthouse up in Portland. I don't know what it's called. I probably should know. I've been there. [00:14:58] Speaker B: That. That one. The one everyone knows, you know, the Lighthouse. [00:15:03] Speaker A: The new. The Portland Maine Lighthouse in New England. The New England Lighthouse. Yeah, they. Yeah, they go over their history in AEW together and Portland. Jericho's. Yeah. Thank you. Jericho is also a founding father and. But they did fight a lot. And hey, remember when Chris Jericho beat up their dad? [00:15:27] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. It was up. I do love Jericho. It's like, yeah, he had it coming. But you know, like, it just tries to. [00:15:33] Speaker A: Right. Like I. Oh, man. Like again, it's like you Jericho. But like, he's actually good at this because like, that's a good line. [00:15:42] Speaker B: Yeah, that. That's my whole run here is like, man, this guy, he's very funny. Let's just get it done. Yeah, it's. It's similar to the other thing. I don't. [00:15:53] Speaker A: At least you can be entertaining. [00:15:55] Speaker B: Yeah, at least he's entertaining as opposed to stuff that makes me wonder why I do this. Yeah. [00:16:10] Speaker A: Yeah. So they're gonna put it behind them to team up tonight against Ricochet, Mark Davis and Andrade. They try and come up with a combination name for their team. And the Bucks want to be Bucks of Jericho. And Jericho wants to be Y2 Jackson. And they settle on the Bucks of Jericho and. Or. Or Y2 Jackson. [00:16:32] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:16:33] Speaker A: And then somebody says two teams, one name. And that's actually better than. Oh, yeah, the long version of it. But then, you know, of course, the long version of it, they had coat jackets. They had custom made jackets. [00:16:46] Speaker C: I noticed that. Jesus. I mean, they're keeping somebody in business and I love that for them. I personally like the box of Jericho. [00:16:55] Speaker A: Bucks of Jericho is good. [00:16:57] Speaker C: Yep. [00:16:58] Speaker A: And I think that was. That's very big of them to be like, we are your. We are the Bucks of Jericho. We are Jericho's Bucks. Yeah, that's very big about them because they also have giant egos. [00:17:09] Speaker B: So. [00:17:09] Speaker A: Yes. Our first match, Chris Jericho and the Young Bucks versus Andrade, Mark Davis and Ricochet. And like I said, they have the custom jackets. Bucks of Jericho. Or is it Y2 Jackson? That's what they call. [00:17:22] Speaker C: Yeah. Or is it YT Jackson? [00:17:24] Speaker A: It doesn't work. [00:17:26] Speaker C: I was talking to my spouse and I was just like, it was Ricochet in what other tag team? I legitimately could not remember the other two gentlemen here. That's because it's a Don Callis family, I guess. Thanks for, you know, a repayment of favors. Sure. I'll help you fight. [00:17:48] Speaker A: There's. There's some. Well, they're all in the Stadium Stampede. [00:17:53] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:17:53] Speaker A: Also, yes, we do know that Ricochet likes Tom Callous. Quite a bit surprising. The. The heels make their entrance, and the ring announcers. Mike just shits the bed. [00:18:06] Speaker C: Yeah, I wondered about that. I was just like, what? [00:18:09] Speaker A: No, I. [00:18:09] Speaker C: Just saying it. [00:18:11] Speaker A: She, like. She, like, says, get me a new mic, and then there's just silence and music playing. And I have written audio issues. Aew. [00:18:22] Speaker C: Go. Making it real. Always. [00:18:26] Speaker A: Yeah. So marking out for AEW audio issues. [00:18:29] Speaker B: Oh, I missed it. Aew. Aew. [00:18:31] Speaker A: Aew. Yeah. They. They're trying to sell, like, the whole concept that the winner of this match gets momentum for Stadium Stampede, but Stadium Stampede doesn't have. There's momentum's not a thing. And it doesn't have staggered entrances. Like, it's not Blood and Guns, so. Or Blood and Guts. Excuse me. Use its. [00:18:52] Speaker B: No, no, no, no, no, no. It's War Games. But, yeah, it is War Games. [00:18:58] Speaker A: Yes. [00:18:59] Speaker B: War Games. [00:19:02] Speaker A: Commentary is going to just. Don Callis is on commentary, and they're just gonna bury Maine all night. And they kind of do, because it's Maine. Sorry, Maine. [00:19:12] Speaker B: He's going to bury. He's going to bury Maine. And glaze. [00:19:16] Speaker A: Taz. [00:19:19] Speaker B: But anyways, finish your thoughts. [00:19:22] Speaker A: I've been to Maine. It's a beautiful state, but there's nothing there. [00:19:27] Speaker B: Hey, there's, like, lobsters and stuff. [00:19:30] Speaker A: There's lobsters. Listen, we set a tabletop game in Maine, and we were just like, all right, well, what can we do in Maine? And there's one guy at the table who just kept saying, can we not be in Maine? There's nothing in Maine. There's a convention center. And, yes, we found. There's apparently one convention center in Maine. [00:19:50] Speaker B: Okay, but there's lobsters. There's. [00:19:53] Speaker A: Oh, oh, oh. You can't go to lobster. Lobster is not a place you can [00:19:58] Speaker B: go to where lobster is. [00:19:59] Speaker A: You can go where lobster is, but you can't go. [00:20:02] Speaker B: And you can eat it. There's Stephen King. There's Stephen King. [00:20:09] Speaker C: Absolutely not. No. [00:20:15] Speaker A: You could go run over Stephen King. Is that actionable? I don't know that if we need. [00:20:19] Speaker C: Only if you're beeping it. Yeah. Only if you're. [00:20:21] Speaker B: Yeah. No. Yeah. No. Okay, Piper, you're gonna need to. [00:20:27] Speaker A: We can say, let's go to Maine and run over Stephen King. [00:20:30] Speaker B: God damn it. [00:20:31] Speaker A: You can't just say it again. [00:20:35] Speaker B: It's two separate, distinct ones. Okay, Jesus. [00:20:43] Speaker A: Anyway, all right, so Jericho and Andrade start out, and apparently it's their first time ever wrestling each other. And Andrada gets chopped and is gonna be like, nope, that. And he goes for the comfort of beautiful women in the front row, and Jericho chases after him and presumably terrifies his poor defenseless women who did nothing. [00:21:03] Speaker B: Yeah. And I just want to say, I said that. Blue sky, just once, just once, I would like Andrade to go find a beautiful, beautiful woman for a selfie and have it just be the brickiest trans girl in the entire world, AKA me. Tony, please get me, hire me tickets. [00:21:24] Speaker A: Yes. Blue sky, if you. If you would. Actually, you know what? Let's both go it. [00:21:30] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. No, we can be. We can do the two for, like, last night. Let's go. [00:21:35] Speaker C: Absolutely. [00:21:35] Speaker B: Oh, think of the representation. It's gonna be Pride Month, Tony. It's gonna be Pride Month. You get my brick ass on television. [00:21:44] Speaker A: You need some tokens. And look, I'm. I'm just. I'm just a token waiting for a Chuck E. Cheese slap machine to be [00:21:52] Speaker B: put into, if you know what I'm saying. We have depression here, folks. [00:22:01] Speaker A: Yeah, that's the way this is going. So Matt Jackson comes in. He runs wild on his own. He does, like, the tiger faint Shiranui thing on Andrade, and they super kick Davis, and there's a locomotion Northern Lights, and they. Everybody gets dived on. Even Jericho does a dive. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, they do, like, a little pose in the ring, and they'd go to commercial and then they. They get the. They get a Jackson and they beat the out of them. Steals his headband, which gets everybody screaming bald. And Taz and Don are on commentary being like, there's an anti bald sentiment in this company. And you know what? There is. There is. [00:22:48] Speaker C: There's so many. But there. There's so many in there. [00:22:51] Speaker A: There are so many there. And it's so. [00:22:53] Speaker B: Yeah, we just did that bit last week with the walk or whatever. Like, that was. Yeah, there was a whole lot of bulbs. [00:22:59] Speaker C: I was so annoyed, I couldn't find a watch that kept in the dream without the commercials, so I missed all the good stuff. [00:23:12] Speaker A: That does suck. It's okay. Yeah, that's all right. That's why I'm here. I'm here to fill in all the Tazcon oh, man, they were mean. [00:23:20] Speaker C: Thank you. [00:23:21] Speaker A: Poor Tad. Oh, he has a great line where, like, they say, like, Mark Davis is hauling ass, and then he's like, if you ask Mark Davis to haul ass, it'll take two trips. Tables turn for the faces. When they come back from commercial, Jericho gets a hot tag, and he runs a little bit wild. The line Salt gets broken up, and then they all fight. But they get, like. They do, like, 10 punches on heels in the corner, and then they, like, are gonna do a hurricane Rana, and they all. There's like, a very awkward moment where they all, like, look behind us, like, all right, are we doing this? [00:24:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:24:01] Speaker A: Are we doing this? Do we have the order right so that we don't hurt ourselves? [00:24:06] Speaker C: Truly, I think they've staggered it too. [00:24:10] Speaker A: Yes. They didn't understand it. Good job. [00:24:14] Speaker B: Give everyone a chance to get out of the way. Yeah. [00:24:16] Speaker A: Well done. [00:24:18] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:24:18] Speaker B: And I do kind of love that, like, everyone was like, oh, my God. Jericho did a. The super hurricane Rana. And I was like, did he, like. I missed it. Did he, like, do the jump up? [00:24:29] Speaker C: No. [00:24:29] Speaker B: Or. Or was he, like, already up on the guy's. [00:24:33] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:24:33] Speaker B: Shoulder. [00:24:34] Speaker A: Okay. [00:24:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:24:35] Speaker C: Finished doing. [00:24:35] Speaker A: Yeah, they did the punches, and then he got up. It wasn't like he did, like, a, [00:24:39] Speaker B: you know, like a jump up. Okay. So in which case Jericho fell backward. Awesome. [00:24:44] Speaker C: He's 55 years old. [00:24:49] Speaker B: I know. I just want to give him a little bit of. I'm sorry again. [00:24:53] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:24:55] Speaker B: Again. I couldn't do that. I would die. That's what makes it funny. [00:24:59] Speaker A: I would do that to die. Let's see how many ring bells we can get this week. Party. And they do, like, a bunch of kicks. And then Andrade gets the Three Amigos, which actually gets booed, which I appreciate. Thank you for booing the heel doing the Three Amigos. [00:25:24] Speaker B: Yeah. It's only right. [00:25:27] Speaker A: They do. They do it. Some stuff happens. They get a destroyer to Andrade. Bte trigger. It gets broken up by the Rico Salt. Jericho tries to put the walls on Ricochet, and he, like, twists. He, like, corkscrews out and, like, sends Jericho all the way to the damn floo. [00:25:46] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:46] Speaker A: And then he chases after him, and they fight into the crowd. Sets up for a table spot as Jericho backdrops Ricochet through the Timekeeper's table. And Davis tries fighting off the bucks, but he gets, like, the misfired back elbow from Andrade. [00:26:05] Speaker B: Oh, God, I love that. Every time. It's just so hot. [00:26:09] Speaker A: It's the Judas effect. And he actually does it. Good. Because he does it at full speed. [00:26:15] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:26:20] Speaker A: I never. I never like the Judas effect. It looks so dumb. But Andrade. Andrade's version looks vicious. [00:26:28] Speaker B: Yeah, it looks like it would kill you anyways, so. [00:26:31] Speaker A: Yeah, they're able to hit a BTE trigger. And Andrade kicks out at 2. [00:26:35] Speaker B: Well, yeah, he's amazing. [00:26:37] Speaker A: Davis. And now we get to finish. Davis grabbed a chair. Aubrey's like, you can't have a chair. And then the dogs both run out. Finley clocks. I forget who he clocked. It was one of the bucks with the shilleli. Yeah, he should share Jackson. That's the call. Shilleli to Jackson. Jackson. [00:27:05] Speaker C: Excellent. Beautiful. Yeah. [00:27:11] Speaker A: So that brings out Toleota. Comes out to continue a beat down. And Jack Barry comes to make the save. And he's got a bag of onions. Why is he got a bag of onions? Because cry me a. Real onions. Cry me a river. [00:27:31] Speaker B: You know, Jack. You know, Jack, if you run your. Your blade through a lemon before you do that, you won't cry a river, bud. That's a fact for you. [00:27:41] Speaker A: It turns out a bag of onions is not a good wrestling weapon because he clobbers Toleona with it and it just kind of explodes on his head and he's just like. Again, I love using this. You're adorable. And murders Jack. [00:27:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:01] Speaker A: Hurt Syndicate comes out to even up the odds because everybody's kind of out there. Lashley Spears, Toa. And that ends the segment in the middle of the ring. They kind of brawl throughout the crowd. [00:28:13] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:28:13] Speaker A: It's Stadium Stampede. It's. It's everybody's favorite. I'm. [00:28:17] Speaker B: I'm. I'm so already done with this. Like, I'm not gonna lie. Like, I just. I've never been more unexcited for this kind of match. Like, just. I don't know if it's the. I don't. I don't think it's the Jericho. I don't know if it's. It's. It's the fact that you got Ricochet in the Hurt Syndicate again. Like, it's just everything. It's just like everything about this is just going just. No, we can just skip this one. It's fine. [00:28:49] Speaker A: Yeah, there's, like. I. I think it'll probably be fine because there's enough really good talent in it, but it's also just like. I don't. [00:28:59] Speaker B: Well, yeah, I'm sure it'll be fine, but I'm just like, it's whatever. [00:29:02] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:29:03] Speaker B: Like, okay. [00:29:04] Speaker A: On paper, it's not Exciting at all. Like, I'm not looking at this like, oh, my God. [00:29:10] Speaker B: Yeah. I simply just don't care. Like, I just simply don't care. [00:29:16] Speaker C: I will say that it should. That not to go totally off cart or back to. Sorry. It was. I was gonna comment on Jericho because I was like, being of Stadium Stampede, like, Jericho was just so. It was clumsy compared to the rest of the wrestlers. And like, just. He lumbers and they glide, honestly. And I mean, that's just 30 years of wrestling. I was like, damn. Like, it's hard when you put yourself against those quick, quick boys. [00:29:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:29:52] Speaker C: He held his own. [00:29:53] Speaker B: But, like, he's also just so old, though. Like, it's okay to be that old. Just truly, like, he doesn't noticed it. [00:30:01] Speaker A: I think that's like, the big thing is, like, he wants to be at 55 and be like, I can do something. I can. I can do stuff. But he's not necessarily letting, like, he's in a match, like, like a trio's match, and he's in Stadium Stampede so that he can work around guys. Like, it's like, how they were able to like, keep Sting around. Yeah. How long? However long. He was, like, active in the company in his 60s having crazy matches because, you know, he could work around a whole bunch of guys and they could hide the fact that he was an elderly gentleman. [00:30:40] Speaker C: That makes sense. Okay. [00:30:41] Speaker A: I. I feel like Jericho is not allowing himself to be helped, which is typical for old people sometimes. [00:30:52] Speaker B: Yeah. You'll have that. He's stubborn, but, you know, we're gonna get him in that home. They just. It's what's best for him. And I'm not. I'm not taking care of him. Are you? [00:31:04] Speaker A: That's not my job. [00:31:06] Speaker B: Yeah, that's not my job. Yeah. [00:31:11] Speaker A: I'm not worried about it, except that I have to watch it on TV right now and it's like, oh, elder abuse. [00:31:17] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm sure he's fine. He wouldn't be fine. [00:31:20] Speaker A: He's only 55. He's fine. [00:31:21] Speaker B: He's also like, he looks pretty good for 50. [00:31:24] Speaker C: Yeah. He truly does. Yeah. [00:31:25] Speaker B: Wait, like, I would say we're. We're like getting on him, but, like, really, there's wrestlers who have looked worse. [00:31:32] Speaker C: Yeah. And it's noticeable by who he was surrounded himself by. Like, that's just kind of the. [00:31:38] Speaker A: Yeah. Especially like in, like Andrade and Davis right now are like, on incredible hot streaks. Like, they. They have nothing good matches right now. And Jericho is just like, it's me, It's It's Jericho. You look at my purple coat and I'm like, take off your purple coat. You don't get to wear that. You. In fact, give it to me. I like it. The purple. [00:32:01] Speaker C: You would rock that. That jacket. [00:32:03] Speaker A: I think I would. [00:32:04] Speaker B: Yeah. No, that j. That's the other thing I hated is that jacket was, like, so cool. [00:32:09] Speaker C: Cool. [00:32:10] Speaker B: Like, that was so cool. Like, I just need him to. I just need him to suck, like, 50% less. And I need, like, confirmation that he's not a piece of. But I know that's never gonna happen because I'm pretty sure he's a piece of. Almost certain piece of. [00:32:29] Speaker A: But he's not. He's not on our. On Silen and I's list of champions. [00:32:34] Speaker B: Yes. [00:32:34] Speaker A: So. [00:32:35] Speaker B: Yes. Oh, does the pod know about that? I don't know if the pod. [00:32:39] Speaker A: Actually. No. I will bring it up when. When it. When it changes hands, but it hasn't happened yet. [00:32:43] Speaker B: Okay, fair enough, Fair enough. [00:32:45] Speaker C: Unlike Takeshita. [00:32:47] Speaker A: Unlike Takeshita. Actually, no, Takeshita. Takesh is on that list a couple times. [00:32:51] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, he's a good single boy, but [00:32:54] Speaker A: he's not a seven time champion like Okada. Speaking of which. Yes, they have. They have. They had a nice little video package for Takesha and Okada. And that's kind of really the thing I'm. I'm looking forward to the most because, yes, man, they're matching. Their C2 match was really good. And then it had like, that ending that was like, no, keep going. I want more. And they didn't. And they've, like, made me wait another three months. No, five. Five more months. That happened at the end of December. It's May. God. [00:33:30] Speaker C: Wow. [00:33:31] Speaker A: What is time? [00:33:33] Speaker C: Don't. No, don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Just drive. [00:33:38] Speaker A: I actually didn't make myself upset there. Oh, Christ. This is gonna also make me upset. Renee is with Darby. Why does he want the hair match? Because MJF is vain, and if he loses his hair, he will have to walk the red carpet bald. And that will make him upset. He tells Speedball that he'll do whatever he takes to retain and hopes they'll [00:33:59] Speaker B: do the same, which is him going, hey, remember in the back when you said you wouldn't bump? Do the bumps. Please do the bumps. Can. Please do. It's all I got. Please, please do the bumps. But, yeah, no, it's not happening. We'll get there. [00:34:16] Speaker A: Video package. They did do a video package for MJF versus Darby. [00:34:21] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:34:21] Speaker A: And it was pretty good. It was actually really good. I enjoyed it. It was a well done little thing. And we get to talk about Match of the Night. This is the match of the night, hands down. [00:34:30] Speaker B: Oh, yes. [00:34:31] Speaker A: Oh, wow. And this is high praise for me, considering 1/2. [00:34:40] Speaker C: I am chomp any biggest hater. If there is one.99 haters, I am one of them. [00:34:46] Speaker B: I am lover of the Tommy Chompers. If there is no other lovers of the Chompers, because I am dead. I Love him. [00:34:57] Speaker A: Chompington Jr. Vs. Mark Briscoe. Anything goes. [00:35:03] Speaker C: Anything goes. [00:35:06] Speaker A: Everything. I, I will straight up give choppers credit. This was my favorite match of his I've seen in aew. Like, this is the best one. [00:35:18] Speaker B: This was some wild. [00:35:19] Speaker A: This is one. I, I, I still don't know if I would say it's like on the match of the Year thing, but like, it's up there. It's, it's good. [00:35:28] Speaker B: He's had some, he's, yeah, he's had some good ones that you refuse to recognize. But this was really, really, really good. So I'm happy that you can at least see that. [00:35:38] Speaker A: Yeah, this was excellent. And it was, it was a violent match with lots of bumps and blood. And it had a purpose, unlike other certain matches with lots of violence. That purpose, except to make somebody look dumb. Hey, Chompers, that shirt he was wearing gave me massive bam, bam Bigelow vibes and I'm here for it. [00:35:58] Speaker B: What was the shirt? I don't remember. [00:36:00] Speaker A: He had like, so, like, it was, it was kind of like, you know how he's got like his skull version of himself in the thing? It looked like that, but it was like lots of black and yellow and orange. [00:36:10] Speaker C: It was like a button down. Was it a, it was a collared shirt? [00:36:14] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I think it was, it was a pull. I think it was a pullover. I didn't see him take it off because he had another shirt underneath that because he was like, I'm gonna get whipped tonight, Tommy. [00:36:24] Speaker B: Two shirts. [00:36:24] Speaker A: Yeah, he went tiny T shirts on it. [00:36:28] Speaker C: I wonder if they're doing a subtle, like, new merch. Just little show, a fashion show. [00:36:35] Speaker A: I mean, I personally wouldn't wear it, but it looked cool on him. Oh, it's like, it's like, oh, yeah, that's something cool a wrestler would wear. That's not something that I would wear out in public because I draw enough attention as it is. [00:36:50] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, right. [00:36:52] Speaker C: Need no more attention. [00:36:55] Speaker B: I'm trying to get hired here. Yeah, like, come on now, Mark. [00:36:59] Speaker A: Comes out, he's got the plunder to it. They mentioned. Yeah. Chompers has never lost the Briscoe I think they mentioned. So like. Yeah, they just grab. They like, they, they slug it out. And Chompers goes to get more plunder and reaches into a trash can and his fingers are pillmanized by a rat trap. [00:37:22] Speaker B: By a rat trap. [00:37:24] Speaker A: As foretold. [00:37:25] Speaker B: As prophesied. Yes, as foretold. [00:37:27] Speaker A: The orb. [00:37:32] Speaker B: Hampton Forest saw it. Yes. [00:37:34] Speaker A: Lest you doubt the powers of Hampton Cero. [00:37:37] Speaker C: Well, the trio's thing hasn't really kicked off, but this one certainly has [00:37:45] Speaker B: into it. [00:37:48] Speaker A: Yeah, they set up a chair and Briscoe wipes him out on it. And then he goes up to do it again and Choppers grabs a chain, wraps it around his neck and then throws him through a goddamn table. And then we get into like actual like horror movie as Tommy Choppers grabs a cheese grater. [00:38:08] Speaker B: Hold on, hold on, hold on. He was making pizza for. He was making the pizza for the boys on commentary. [00:38:15] Speaker A: Okay. [00:38:16] Speaker B: That's all it was is I'm making a pizza pie. He needed some shredded chicken. You see where I'm going here? [00:38:22] Speaker A: You needed some shredded Brisco. As he takes that cheese grater. Just rip smart Briscoe's face open. [00:38:29] Speaker B: It was gross. [00:38:33] Speaker C: When you're like grating cheese or carrots and it gets so. Oh my God. I was just like, it's so bad. [00:38:41] Speaker A: It's so bad. I was like. So I was, I was watching, I was watching the, the my aw stream. So I was like, oh man. I really hope when they went to. Because like they went to commercial like right after that apps, like I really hope they cut to like a commercial for Sorrento cheese or something as like. [00:39:02] Speaker B: Not again. [00:39:05] Speaker A: Yes. Yeah. Hampter. Have you heard the Nick Gage pizza cutter story? [00:39:09] Speaker C: Oh yeah, yeah. I think Ella told it to me where he's like, don't move. [00:39:15] Speaker B: Oh no, that's, that's. No, that's Nick Gage and David Arquette story. This is something else that did involve a pizza cutter. This is different. [00:39:23] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, Nick, Nick pizza loves pizza cutters. [00:39:27] Speaker A: Nick Gage got brought in like this is a like I think year one or two. Aw. And he got brought in as like a hitman for MJF for a one off match against Jericho and they have like a straight up death match with glass and, and like they're like, Nick Gage, go do Nick Gage stuff. So. [00:39:49] Speaker B: And he's like on tv, bro. [00:39:52] Speaker A: So he, he, he's been using a pizza cutter A lot in recent years. So he brings out a pizza cutter, and he. [00:40:00] Speaker C: He's. [00:40:00] Speaker A: He goes. He does, like, the pizza cutter spot to Jericho's forehead. And they cut to picture a picture, and there's, like, a Domino's Pizza commercial right next to it. And they're taking it away, like, right next to, like, a picture of, like, this beautiful Christine pizza said being carved up by the pizza sler. It was awesome. It was so awesome. And I don't know if they planned it, and if they did plan it, I don't know how they could have done it, but it was awesome. I loved it. Legendary, legendary wrestling moment. [00:40:38] Speaker B: And I don't think Nick Gage ever got asked back. [00:40:43] Speaker A: It was a while. Yeah, he didn't come back. But that wasn't his fault. They told him to use a pizza cutter. Yeah, this is fine. [00:40:51] Speaker B: Did his job. Yes. [00:40:53] Speaker A: Yes. [00:40:54] Speaker B: That's. Why. Are you sure? On tv, bro? Like, you want me to. We're in public. Yeah. [00:41:03] Speaker C: You didn't see my show. Oh, okay. [00:41:05] Speaker A: You know who I am, right? [00:41:07] Speaker B: I'm gonna go bleed out. [00:41:09] Speaker A: Mdk. [00:41:14] Speaker B: All right. Murder, death, kill. Let's go. Oh, fantastic. Oh, yeah, from the pile of broken bodies. [00:41:24] Speaker A: Choppers. Well, no, unfortunately, there's just more broken bodies, because as they do in commercial, Chompers, like, grabs a crowbar and, like, shoves it in Briscoe's mouth and, like, pries it open. And that was somehow more disgusting. [00:41:38] Speaker C: Oh, my. See, this is why I hate. [00:41:41] Speaker B: Wait, that was over commercial. [00:41:43] Speaker A: That was over commercial. There was a lot of commercial, actually, because. Yeah, because, like, he. He sets up the ladder. He wraps a chair around Mark's necks and throws him into the. The ring post. Mark is just, like, hissing blood from his face. [00:41:57] Speaker B: Yeah, he's probably gonna be pissing blood from his penis, depending on some Love [00:42:02] Speaker A: some of this Choppers. Chompers rubs Taz on the head, and Taz freaks out. I was like, I'll choke his ass out. I got metal limbs. And then we take it down a bit of a notch. Or maybe we crank it up and make it more violent. Chompers. Tommy Chompers. The hateful Tommy Chompers grabs a stuffed chicken from under the ring and proceeds to beat it with the chair, which draws a massive heat from Portland. He then holds it on his crotch and gives it a project. Chompers and covers it. And the ref counts three until Briscoe breaks it up. [00:42:45] Speaker C: My God. The. How did I. Oh, my God. [00:42:48] Speaker A: I'm so. All during commercial. [00:42:52] Speaker B: So sad. [00:42:54] Speaker A: Holy. It was. It ruled like this kind of, this really was, I think what brought me around on this match. It's like, all right, choppers is just, he's grooving, he's having fun. Like, he's not trying to be like, I'm super serious. Guy is like, no, I'm gonna this chicken and kill it. I'm going to cover this. It's like they just have like this random ass comedy spot in this violent death match. [00:43:21] Speaker C: One. [00:43:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:26] Speaker B: Thing I've ever heard though, is to have this random comedy spot in the middle of this bloody death. [00:43:31] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Ricochet. No, he. When they. Briscoe did that ambulance match with Ricochet, there was a comedy spot in the middle of that too. And that was like, that was, that was gory as Good Lord God. All right, so, yeah, we come back from commercial. Mark's got a fire extinguisher. And then he no sells cookie sheet to the skull. The most dangerous weapon in all of wrestling is the cookie sheet. [00:43:58] Speaker C: Truly. [00:43:58] Speaker A: Everyone knows he gets, he gets a T bone. We set up another table and Mark starts, gets out of staple gun and starts stapling barbed wire to the whole thing. And he's again, he's dripping blood on this table, like already. [00:44:14] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Everybody's already covered in the sauce and, and he's like, barbed wire. I love that. Like, I, I can't help but wonder if at some point someone was like, why I don't like how there's like the pre wrapped barbed wire table. It's not realistic because they always have like a pre wrapped barbed wire table. And it's like, okay, well that doesn't, that doesn't seem as cool and dangerous because it's like, clearly that was planted there. So like, I like that they went the extra step of having, of having him do it himself so you can watch and like let it build up. [00:45:00] Speaker A: Yeah. To be like, it does make it seem like he, he's like, I, I, I'm on the fly. This is how I'm gonna hurt this dude. [00:45:08] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. This is, yeah, like, this is how badly I hate him. Like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do crafts because I hate him so much. [00:45:17] Speaker C: Chores actually, because they point out that he's chicken farmer, you know, so that if clearly this is something that he's proficient with stapling wire to things. [00:45:27] Speaker A: Staple barbed wire chompers keep saying on camera, so he's gonna have to pay. He grabs the stapler. He grabs the stapler and he, he then gets the call sheet that they've got, yeah. And staples that to Mark's head, which then stays on Mark's head for like a good two minutes. [00:45:54] Speaker B: He staples two, he staples two pieces of paper to Mark's head. The first one falls off and the second one stays on for a hot minute. [00:46:06] Speaker A: He grabs the a knee pad with thumbtacks in it and he's gonna kill Mark with it. He misses. [00:46:13] Speaker B: I want that to be like a regular. Like that should be a normal thing. Like that's such a great, it's such a great like, but you know what I mean? Like. Well, especially for someone who's gonna be like a, like a death match wrestler, you know, like, like that's such a great death match thing to be like. There's so. Well in AEW because there's so many people who do the running flight knee. [00:46:36] Speaker C: Oh God, yeah. And I mean, Champa also heavily like uses it as well. [00:46:41] Speaker A: Yeah. He misses the, the, the, the knee pad, the thumbtacks, and he gets dropped toe hold into the ladder. Mark fucking grabs a screwdriver and just starts stabbing him in the face with it. So now the papers are still stuck to his head and now Chompers is bleeding everywhere. There's so much blood. [00:47:00] Speaker B: It was a lot. It was a lot of blood. [00:47:03] Speaker A: And then Chompers manages to suplex Mark into the ladder. They just start throwing strikes. Chompers actually hits the thumbtack knee, which you would think would finish it, but no, he wants to do the psycho, psycho, psycho driller through the chairs again. Briscoe fights out, takes a minute. So choppers has like set the chairs out so they're like seat to seat touching. [00:47:33] Speaker B: Yeah, this was great. [00:47:36] Speaker A: And his, his blessed little CZW brain was like, no, we can make this worse. So he turns him so that they're back. So it's just like a rigid point. He doesn't. [00:47:48] Speaker B: It's like a spine on like a, like, like if you're good, if you're into skateboarding or games with skateboarding, it's like doing a spine transfer. Like two ramps next to each other. And it's like. [00:47:59] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:47:59] Speaker B: You know that thing you don't want your balls to end up on? Yeah, that or you're spine. Guess who Spine for that matter. [00:48:07] Speaker A: Thompson ch's spine hits it as Mark hits a gross looking iconoclasm. Then he drags him to the apron, hits the J driller through the barbed wire table, throws him back in, hits the froggy bow. And just like the whole trilogy of trilogy of terror right there. [00:48:27] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:48:27] Speaker A: That wins it. Mark Briscoe wins. [00:48:30] Speaker B: It was so good. [00:48:32] Speaker A: It was awesome. [00:48:33] Speaker B: Get up from the J driller on the barbed wire table on the outside was gross. [00:48:44] Speaker A: Oh. [00:48:44] Speaker B: The fact that he just gets up is like, all right, I'll get him in Froggy. Like, just. Jesus. Like, he's dead, man. He's dead. [00:48:52] Speaker C: More. [00:48:52] Speaker A: More. This was awesome. And again, I would like to differentiate this from what Darby has been doing is, like, it was a violent fight between two guys who have been feuding four months. [00:49:07] Speaker B: All these spots. All the. All the spots made sense. They all were built up to. In the moment in a way where, like, even, like, again, the. The barbed wire nailed to the board, like, that's. That's build. Like, that's building suspense. [00:49:26] Speaker A: That's not a. [00:49:27] Speaker B: Like, that's not a thing Darby does. He just does a big thing in the hopes that you're happy and we'll forget how much he's awful. [00:49:35] Speaker A: Like, they put thought into it, and it should. [00:49:39] Speaker B: Yes. Yes. [00:49:40] Speaker A: And that is all I will say about it for now. [00:49:43] Speaker B: Yes. [00:49:44] Speaker A: Good job, Tommy. I have nothing negative to say about you this week. [00:49:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:49:49] Speaker A: I win. [00:49:50] Speaker B: I win. One time. [00:49:53] Speaker A: Tony Schiavone is in the ring, and he's here to kick off the, you know, Owen cup tournament. And he's interrupted by Prince Nana, who calls him a substitute teacher trying to control a classroom of fools. And I love the way he said fools. And the crowd also did because they were mad at him. [00:50:12] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:50:12] Speaker B: Yes. [00:50:14] Speaker A: So he announced. He announces Swerve Strickland, and Swerve makes his way out from the entrance ramp, and Bandito attacks him from behind. And so this is payback. He got attacked at Super. Super Card. Super Card of Honor. Whatever was the last Ring of Honor pay per view was. I did not watch it. I do know that Swerve showed up and attacked Bandito. Yep. So Bandito's kicking his ass. Nada. Grabs a chair, and then Bandito just turns on him, and Nana drops it. Like, it's just like, oh, yeah. I didn't. I wasn't gonna do anything. [00:50:45] Speaker B: Now we're good. We're good. We're good. [00:50:46] Speaker C: That got me. Look out Bandito for me. Just like. So why are you. [00:50:56] Speaker B: Partner comes in, you're like, no, don't look at me. I'm watching wrestling. [00:50:58] Speaker C: I'm talking to my. Talking to my wrestlers. [00:51:05] Speaker A: I'm watching my stories. [00:51:08] Speaker B: I've been laughing about that for, like, a week and a half. [00:51:12] Speaker C: The noises I was making, too, because it. If you had heard me, you'd be like, oh, is. Are they okay? And no. [00:51:19] Speaker B: No, it's not okay. [00:51:24] Speaker A: Yep. So Swerve takes it, gets the advantage, and he's attacking Bandito. They set up the chair in the ring, and Swerve wants the vertebreaker on it. Bandito gets out. He does like, he holds. He press, slams Swerve. And like, again, Bandito is horrifyingly strong for a small person. [00:51:42] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:51:42] Speaker A: With one hand, I think. I don't think people realize how big Swerve is. And he's actually bigger now. [00:51:50] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. He has gotten very swollens. [00:51:55] Speaker A: God. So, yeah, Bandito wants to do the 21 Plex and he thinks about doing it at the chair. Swerve gets out, throws the chair at him, and they kind of awkwardly, like, fumble with it for a second, and Swerve just bails. So they are wrestling, are they. They're wrestling at double or nothing. [00:52:12] Speaker C: Yes. Their first. Their. Their matches. The first on the Omen card or their own? Their first matches. [00:52:19] Speaker A: They're having their own match. Yes. [00:52:21] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:52:22] Speaker A: Got it. [00:52:23] Speaker C: I. We got to see Nana butt crack. And I was very excited. [00:52:27] Speaker A: I didn't see that. I know that you like to keep track of wrestling personalities. Butt crack. Like, I do. [00:52:33] Speaker C: I like my measurements. It's a little like my own phrenology. [00:52:40] Speaker B: I love what the. The science project is doing. Their own science. And I'm so proud. [00:52:47] Speaker C: You have the length. [00:52:48] Speaker A: Science quotation marks around. Science. Ass crack. Phrenology. [00:52:55] Speaker B: Phrenology. We haven't talked about. We haven't talked about hampter's ass issue in a while. This is amazing. [00:53:04] Speaker C: Booties. They're like the fun. [00:53:08] Speaker A: Oh, my God. That's great. [00:53:12] Speaker B: Phrenology. [00:53:14] Speaker C: No, [00:53:18] Speaker B: we've pulled the car over. We're all on the. On the side. [00:53:21] Speaker A: Well, no, I think we all need to take a moment to. To have, like, a sad moment here as well, because we have a promo from Willow. Willow next. Oh, yeah, Nightingale with the TBS title. She lets us know about. You know, she. She's proud of all the accomplishments she did last year. She was in the Owen and she's TBS champion. She beat Mercedes and she. She was. She won the tag titles with Harley. [00:53:47] Speaker C: Harley Cameron. [00:53:49] Speaker A: Yep. And she's been defending that title against everybody. But last week when she faced Red Velvet, she. She hurt her shoulder, and unfortunately, she has to withdraw from the Owen and relinquish the TBS title. And that sucks. Hurts really, really bad. [00:54:09] Speaker C: Yeah, because that takes out. Not that takes her out. And now Tony is. I mean, and Tony's been Out. [00:54:16] Speaker A: Yeah. You've lost Fortunate Tony. And Mercedes has been away for a while. Oh God. [00:54:24] Speaker B: Yeah, she's probably due for. She's not hurt. [00:54:28] Speaker A: I know she's not hurt. She. I know she was. She was dropping all of the. All of her belts. [00:54:34] Speaker B: Yeah. She was off like working. [00:54:36] Speaker A: So. Yeah. That really sucks. And it sucks a lot in the sense of like I'll. We'll talk about it too when we get to the women's match. But like there's been a lot of discourse about the women's division and Willow was probably due to like really kind of get a push with all the absences and now she's gone. [00:54:56] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:54:56] Speaker A: And I don't know who's gonna fill her spot. [00:54:59] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:55:00] Speaker A: Because they don't seem to care to try to make anybody fill the spots. People higher up the card. But that's for later. [00:55:08] Speaker B: I say we push the. Out of Harley Cameron. That's just me. [00:55:13] Speaker C: I mean it reminds me of. It reminds me of really bad management where they're just like they over not saying that this happened here, but the employee is overworked and then goes looking for a better option and then they never fulfill. They never fill that position again and everybody has to take on more work for the same pay or. Yeah. [00:55:34] Speaker A: Right. [00:55:35] Speaker B: Yeah. I just, I. That's the job. I just left several months, like two months ago now. So. Yeah. That's gross. And I hate it. [00:55:44] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:55:45] Speaker B: No one likes that. [00:55:46] Speaker A: What's that? It's probably a little bit different in regards to wrestling but. [00:55:50] Speaker C: Oh for sure. [00:55:51] Speaker B: Yes. [00:55:51] Speaker A: Naturally it's. It's again it's like it kind of like in my, in my view it comes down to management. Oh yeah. But that's for a little bit later. This match was made for me. [00:56:03] Speaker C: Oh yeah. [00:56:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:56:07] Speaker A: Continental title eliminator match. Jon Moxley versus Kyle O'Reilly. [00:56:12] Speaker B: This was so like the fact that this wasn't the match of the night. [00:56:18] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:56:18] Speaker B: For me, like it was a whole lot about that other one. Yeah. Because like wow. [00:56:25] Speaker C: This was 20 minutes in. In like technical wrestling. I felt. [00:56:31] Speaker A: Yes. You don't really see matches like this. [00:56:34] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:56:34] Speaker A: That are this methodical. Yeah. This intentionally grapple. Grapple. [00:56:42] Speaker B: And like this is another grapple. I like that. This is another. Again, like just why aw. Is the best is because you had like the bloodiest, damn near like actual like death match I've seen in a minute on television. And then you had 20 minute grapple in the same card. And they were both amazing and had the same amount of like love and energy. And appreciation from the crowd. That's why AW is the best. Because they're, they're. It's like they refuse to homogenize their. Basically. [00:57:22] Speaker A: I agree. [00:57:24] Speaker B: Yeah. And that's, that's why they all get me. Even though they're doing stupid with their title right now. Like, I'm still here because I know that it's better than any other option I've seen in 20 years plus. So. Yeah. [00:57:39] Speaker A: So anyways, refresher, refresh for anybody who might have missed it. Kyle has been out until when it was. He came back at the last paper, [00:57:49] Speaker B: last pay per view with the little conglomeration skit that you either loved or hated and people who hated it. That's fine. You can be wrong. [00:57:58] Speaker A: Yeah, that's definitely wrong. Yes. So Kyle has been out and he came back, he was injured by Moxley after he beat Mox two times. He made Mox tap out two matches in a row. [00:58:12] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:58:13] Speaker A: This is back in November and he missed the Continental Classic because of that. [00:58:19] Speaker B: This is when we. This is when we thought Claudio was like, we might have to kill this guy with a bag. Marina. [00:58:26] Speaker A: Yes. Like super at like the lowest point. [00:58:32] Speaker B: Yeah. Having a rough losing streak. [00:58:33] Speaker A: He was on a losing streak. That's what it was. But like, we know also from how his Continental Classic thing went. He wants. He wants his wins back. So he beat. [00:58:44] Speaker B: He. [00:58:44] Speaker A: He lost it to cash. He faced Takeshita, and he even says in the build up to this, Kyle O'Reilly's had my number and. But then it's great being me because all the dragons I want to slay come to my door, so. [00:58:58] Speaker B: He's so good at this. [00:59:01] Speaker A: What the. [00:59:02] Speaker B: Man that's such a deadline. What the. [00:59:05] Speaker A: He's a better man today than he was yesterday. And today is the best he's ever been. Like, [00:59:12] Speaker B: so good. [00:59:15] Speaker A: Yeah, because like, they really married this idea of like he was a real bastard a year ago and now like, [00:59:23] Speaker B: hey, I used to be a bad guy, but now I'm not. [00:59:26] Speaker A: Yeah, now he's cool, but like, he's not like, he's not like a good guy. He's just like. No, you understand me now. Like we're talking the same language. You understand what I'm doing and I think that's cool. Like, that's, that's a good heel to face turn. [00:59:41] Speaker C: He's got a great, like, villain that you can relate to. Or like the bad. The. The baddie with the relatable world philosophy, you know, the anti hero. [00:59:59] Speaker A: He's an anti hero. [01:00:00] Speaker C: Yeah. All Right. Perfect. Yeah, exactly. [01:00:02] Speaker A: He's. [01:00:03] Speaker C: Exactly. [01:00:04] Speaker A: He's not ducking Kyle O'Reilly. He wants to fight Kyle O'Reilly because he wants to beat him. [01:00:10] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:00:11] Speaker A: And, yeah, I think that's. That's just simple, basic, perfect wrestling. They. Yeah, and, like, they. Their matches last year were, like, some of my favorites, and it was. It's real grabs time, and it was awesome. It was real grabs. Like, they're. They're just on the mat, just like, nobody. Like, there's no strikes at all for, like, the first, like, minute and a half. And they're just, like. Everybody's trying not to get punched. And then Kyle works, like, collar, elbow. He backs up Mox into the ropes, [01:00:41] Speaker B: like, trying to find it up on each other. [01:00:43] Speaker A: Yeah, Mox just, like. Just cold cox him with an elbow. [01:00:48] Speaker B: He, like, all right, enough of this. [01:00:52] Speaker A: And then, as that happens, commentary is arguing about, like, what strategy each guy wanted to have. Because Tony's like, oh, Mox wanted to do a brawl. And then Taz is like, no, he wanted to try and out grapple Kyle O'Reilly. No, he wanted to brawl. He wanted to do that first. I was like, well, Kyle can strike too, so, like, why would he really worry that much? Shut up, Tony. They were being. They were being. They were bullying Tony. Poor Tony. He's just an old man who used to be completely jacked. [01:01:27] Speaker C: At least his sack was. I. I think I got the. I definitely got the impression that Mox wanted to beat Kyle at his own game. [01:01:36] Speaker B: Yes. [01:01:37] Speaker A: Yeah, that was the key. [01:01:40] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:01:40] Speaker A: So, yeah, they're. They're just. Kyle comes back and he gets his. He's got, like, strong kick game and he gets, like, a leg sweep and he gets some corner combos, and he's, like, actively targeting Moxley's legs because he's trying to set him up for the ankle lock again. They're. They're trading blows in the middle of the ring. And then Mox just, like, punches him in the liver. Yeah, that was just a straight up liver punch. I guess it was liver. I don't know which side the liver's on, but, like, he just punches him in the stomach and he just. Kyle drops and, like, it's like. Yeah, that looked like it hurt. [01:02:13] Speaker B: It's one of those things where, like, it's like. Yeah, I know. If you get. If you get the guy right in the duodenum, you know, it's like there's the off button or whatever, and it's [01:02:21] Speaker A: like, this is easy. It's like, it's. It's the liver. [01:02:25] Speaker B: It's the liver. [01:02:26] Speaker A: Yeah. I think they did say. I think they did say it was a liver shot, but, like, he just. I just love the way that Kyle sold it. He's like. He got punched. He's just, like, immediately just like, not like. Like falling back, like, grabs his stomach and falls on his face. It's like, God, good stuff. [01:02:40] Speaker B: There was a few punches in this match from Mox where it was just like, God, I. I hope that you pulled that, like, because, like, I can't tell if you did. I hope you did, because if that was a real shot. Oh, [01:02:58] Speaker A: Moxley was really working the body in this, like. [01:03:00] Speaker B: Yeah, and he was. Yeah, he was, like, throwing some hits. It was nuts. [01:03:07] Speaker A: Like, right before the commercial, Mox charges in, he gets dumped outside, and Kyle wants the baby face suicida. But, like, his ribs are so hurt, he can't even run the ropes. Like, he hits the rope and he grabs. Grabs his stomach. So that was. [01:03:21] Speaker B: That was steel coordinating, though. [01:03:22] Speaker A: Steel coordinate what? [01:03:23] Speaker B: You know, still coordinate. You know, it's not rope. [01:03:26] Speaker A: It's not rope. Yeah. So Mox just stays in control through the commercial, and we get the. They call out, 10 minutes gone. Box is working a body scissor, and he's just got Kyle caught. Stuck in the middle of the ring. The only thing Kyle can do is try and gouge out Max's eyes to break the hold. It's like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. [01:03:50] Speaker B: Nuts. This is such a good match. At no point in this match, and I'm like, how much time has gone by? Because I was just. I was just locked the. [01:04:01] Speaker C: In this entire 15 minutes elapsed, and I was like, wait, what? [01:04:06] Speaker A: Yeah, really fast. Like, I. I was following it, but I was not. You know, I don't. I don't use the stopwatch. When I watched these, I was following the timekeeper was saying, and it's like, oh, Oh, I see where how this is going. But even still, it was like, maybe actually Kyle might actually beat him. [01:04:23] Speaker C: Oh, wow. [01:04:24] Speaker A: I. I had that thought for a little bit. [01:04:26] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:04:27] Speaker A: Pendulum. Larry misses. Max gets a sleeper. Kyle fights out. He gets, like, a kneeping leash strike. Knee strike. I don't know what I just said. I feel like I said something weird. [01:04:38] Speaker B: Leaping straight strike. Leaping knee strike. [01:04:42] Speaker A: I think is leaping knee strike. Yeah, he just gets that big knee strike. And now it's just. It. It looks like a fight. So he gets an ankle lock in Mox's. Mox tapped the ankle lock twice. That's what beat him. And now he's fucking scrambling. [01:04:59] Speaker B: He's like biting his hand, like trying desperately not to tap. [01:05:03] Speaker A: Kyle's going after the legs. He gets caught in the corner and Mox is just plunges him and bite him in the face in the air. And then he does like a really heinous back break. And that's at the 15 minute mark. And then he hits a big superplex. Yeah, he holds on with a choke on the ground, transitions to a bulldog. Kyle gets out and then gets a juji. Got the man. And then like the, that was. This was like one of the sickest submission transitions in this match was he had the, the arm bar, the arm lock. And then he transitions that into the ankle lock. [01:05:39] Speaker C: Oh yeah. [01:05:40] Speaker A: And then Mox fights out of that. Gets him in the bully choke. Gatorol chokes him again. Kyle makes the ropes. It's, it's, it's. Oh my God. I think we're almost at five minutes at this point. So they go to the apron and Kyle like dumps him on his arm and shoulder drop kick, comes back in, eats a cutter. [01:06:04] Speaker C: So sick. [01:06:06] Speaker A: Mox is it like. Mox is tired and exhausted. He just is on top of Kyle just punching him in the face. [01:06:16] Speaker C: Sometimes it'd be like that, get the job done. [01:06:19] Speaker A: He turns out to a choke, gets a suplex and then a penalty kick. And they like just get to their feet and they get to their like. There's a minute left. The throne strikes Moxis. Another body shot, but he misses the curb stomp. Kyle grabs the ankle lock. He grapes finds it and Mox looks like he's gonna tap, but he survives. It's a time limit draw. [01:06:42] Speaker B: I was tap. [01:06:43] Speaker C: Don't you dare. I'm screwing once again, screaming at my computer. [01:06:48] Speaker B: This is where I thought we were earlier where he's like biting his hand and trying not to tap and like trying to get to the ropes. And after I convent you losing your [01:07:01] Speaker A: I. I thought he was gonna. I thought he was gonna tap again. Like, I really did. [01:07:04] Speaker B: I really did too. I really, really did. But time limit. I'll take it that that counts as win. Good as win. [01:07:12] Speaker A: Time limit draw means Kyle survives and he is owed a continental title shot. Mox is pissed at himself that he got caught again. [01:07:20] Speaker C: So here's the thing. And I know, I understand it's story or, but like if I was Moxley and I following his philosophy, sort of. Or like, or at least as a wrestler, knowing your opponents, I would be doing stairs for 30 minutes and then I would have Every single member of the Death Riders put me in a leg lock and make. Force me to get out of it. Like. [01:07:44] Speaker B: And, like, try to get out of it. Yeah. Like. Like what? What is he not doing? Like. Like, yeah, that makes sense. [01:07:51] Speaker C: Like, yeah. Why not train to get out of every leg lock? [01:07:56] Speaker B: Because he feels like he should be able to. [01:07:58] Speaker A: Maybe Kyle's just that good. I think that's really it. I think that's really. [01:08:04] Speaker B: This is the one. This is a core logic of professional wrestling is why. Why does. Why does Jake's DDT hit harder than everyone else? Because it's Jake the Snake. His DDT kills you. It's just. [01:08:20] Speaker A: Kyle's. [01:08:21] Speaker C: Just occasionally I have moments of lucidity and I. Yeah. [01:08:26] Speaker B: And you're like, wait a second. This doesn't make logic sense. And it's like, no, no, no, no, no. Just remember where we're at. Think of Jimmy Hart. Nothing about him made logical sense. [01:08:38] Speaker A: Okay, so they. They announced that Kyle survived and he gets a title shot. And Kyle grabs the mic and he says, I didn't survive. Moxley did. He's got a claim on the. And he challenged them to a no time limit match. So that's going to happen at double or nothing. [01:08:56] Speaker C: Oh, is it? [01:08:58] Speaker A: Yes, that's. That's double or Nothing now. Kyle O'Reilly versus John Moxley. Four. Four. I think it's four. [01:09:05] Speaker C: This card. May as well. Ben. Hey, have you bought your ticket to double or nothing yet? Have you checked out HBO Plus? [01:09:15] Speaker B: Have you checked out? It's only $40. [01:09:19] Speaker A: Only $40 for zero. This is the sizzle. [01:09:23] Speaker B: Someone send me $40. Yeah, well, actually, I also have red 7. 7 me. A thousand and forty dollars. [01:09:33] Speaker C: 10 forty. [01:09:34] Speaker A: We go to Renee. She's with Sheeta and Statlander. And Renee wants to ask Stat about Willow's announcement. And before she can actually say anything, she interrupts and is like, oh, I care. Who cares about Willow? We're gonna fight at double or nothing, and I'll win the title and then I'll win the Owen. And he's like, oh, Stat, you're my best friend. I love you so much. And Stat just kind of like shoves her off and tells her to watch herself. [01:10:00] Speaker C: Yeah, [01:10:06] Speaker A: I made a face. If anybody's wondering why there's silence, I think it's terrified. [01:10:11] Speaker B: Oh, it's like one Eric could just shut down what's going on here? [01:10:16] Speaker C: I mean, that's kind of the response that I have to this tag team, [01:10:21] Speaker A: where I'm just like, yeah, I don't. [01:10:23] Speaker C: My Mouth is just slightly open and not sure. [01:10:27] Speaker A: I don't, I don't, I don't care anymore. Like, I, I, I, I. They have not. They have not won me back over since last week when I said I don't care. [01:10:35] Speaker B: Wait, wait. Which tag team we talk about? Oh, I missed this. [01:10:41] Speaker A: Not even there. Like, the storyline they're doing, like, just. [01:10:44] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, yeah. [01:10:46] Speaker A: That's where I'm. [01:10:48] Speaker B: Yeah. Pick a direction and go. Because, like, the matches are fun. [01:10:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:10:53] Speaker B: Mina Shirakawa had a great match tonight. I felt like, Like I had a lot of fun. Like, the graphs was great. Real graphs. Just story. Not no story, just story. Confused story. Yeah. It doesn't know what to do. And I was promised a murder mystery, so I'm gonna be mad until I get that. [01:11:14] Speaker A: Yes. There's. There's a video package about Roosh and he wants to challenge Darby. I don't give a. Yeah, I couldn't [01:11:23] Speaker B: care less about that. Yeah, [01:11:26] Speaker A: I seem to have deleted my notes on that for some reason. So there you go. [01:11:30] Speaker C: No, that's it. [01:11:32] Speaker A: That's really all it was. It's like, I don't care. [01:11:34] Speaker C: All right, here's the thing about Roosh. At least he gets it done quick. That's it. [01:11:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:11:46] Speaker A: Rouge is bad sex. You just get it done quick. [01:11:50] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:11:51] Speaker B: Yeah. He's not looking into the camera for most of it. He's clearly like reading cards and it's like. I don't know. You're saying the same thing you said last week. You should have this memorized by the hero. Just say hurts. [01:12:07] Speaker A: Actually don't even say hearns. I don't care anymore. Same. He gets a squash match later. We'll talk about. I can complain more about Roostan. All right. Women's eight women tag match. Triangle of Madness and Athena versus the Burlingbirds. Thunder, Rosa and Mina Shirakawa. Once again, last week we noted that the women end up in the semi main event, which is a dead spot. And once again, they're in the same spot. And this is. [01:12:32] Speaker B: Hey. But hey, there's more of them. There's more of them to kill there. [01:12:36] Speaker A: There's two more. This match more than usual. Last week it was a six person or six women. Yeah. [01:12:44] Speaker C: And there's also another hour after. But no, you're right. [01:12:47] Speaker A: So they get a. They, they. They wrote thunder Rosen. Athena start. And that's pretty good. They do some good work. [01:12:54] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:12:55] Speaker A: Rosa gets a pretty nice looking second grip crossbody and tags in. Was it Alex? And then there's like, there's like a weird moment where Jamie comes in and kind of knees Alex by accident. [01:13:10] Speaker C: Yeah, I saw that as well. I was like, oh, what as weird? [01:13:15] Speaker A: That's odd. That's a little odd. All right, so this. This was one where commentary started to get really dumb. So. So Tony is like, oh, we have an international match. There's from Japan and Austria and the United Kingdom. And then what? Taz is like, well, what about America? And Tony's like, well, that's not international. And Excalibur is like, actually, Tony, America is international to the rest of the world. [01:13:55] Speaker C: Got a point there. [01:13:58] Speaker B: I love that, Like, Taz is like, trying to be like, like, almost like the Republican. What about America? Excalibur's like, I'm good. Woke three. We skipped it. Woke three. We're gonna go, like, to the next level. Everywhere else. [01:14:15] Speaker A: The rest of the world. [01:14:16] Speaker B: You're the Foreigner, Taz. Yeah, the Foreigner. [01:14:19] Speaker A: I mean, they're in a Red Hook. Red Hook is. [01:14:23] Speaker B: Yeah, fair enough. Red Hook is sovereign nation of Red Hook. [01:14:25] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, God. Mina does some good stuff with Tekla. Nice strong strikes as your corkscrew launcher on the inside commercial. And then Athena causes a distraction, and then the heels get control. They do the spot where the heels pull the faces off the apron to avoid the hot tag. Commentary is like, hey, there's an extra hour tonight. And they seem to be having a meltdown over the realization of that. [01:14:54] Speaker C: God, so real. [01:14:57] Speaker B: Yeah. Again, they're. They're deciding they're gonna go loopy. [01:15:02] Speaker A: Yeah. The crowd, I think, was a little bit better this week than last week for the women. And I think it's also probably because it was good. It was very good. I think they all sooner. Like, we have, like another hour. We can't be tired at this point. There's another hour coming after this. We have to outdo. Plus, like, they haven't gotten televised wrestling in 30 years. They're like. They're like. They were hot for pretty much everything on this show, truly. Mina does, like, this really vicious looking head scissors to Athena that just, like, sends her face first on the mat and that look gross. And gets the tag to thunder. Rosa, who's a casa and fuego, does that through the ropes clothesline. Does a big drop kick, does a rope drop kick. Northern lights suplex. The sky only gets two. They do, like, the train to finish your spot. And Athena comes out on top and she's just like, she's the only one standing. [01:15:57] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:15:59] Speaker A: She wants to do a dive on Mina. Gets kicked in the Face Mina tries to dive but gets caught. Counters the counter with a DDT on the floor. Rosa takes out Tekla, needs a kick by Sky Blue, and she wants to code blue. But the Brawling Birds thankfully stop that from being attempted. Tecla grabs her belt, and the ref is like, no, you can't do that. And then Julia Hart appears and gives the Black Mist to Thunder Rosa, and Tecla just pins her. [01:16:28] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:16:28] Speaker A: Winners are Athena and the Triangle of Madness. [01:16:31] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [01:16:32] Speaker A: Good stuff. [01:16:33] Speaker B: I. I need them to follow up on the whole Mist thing again, like they did with Sky Blue. I want dark undead Thunder Rosa, please. [01:16:45] Speaker A: I think. Here's why. I don't think that will work. And that's because the Black Mist came from the House of Black, so it's different mist. It's not gonna, like, make you an edgelord anymore. [01:17:00] Speaker B: What? But it worked on Sky Blue. [01:17:03] Speaker A: But it also didn't work on Willow because Willow is like, actually. [01:17:08] Speaker B: Well, Willow's. No. No. Well, no, no, no. But that's different. Willow's. Willow. You can't do that. Yeah, you can't do that. I don't think. I don't think Thunder Rosa can defeat it. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, she. She. Yeah, she's. [01:17:27] Speaker A: She. [01:17:28] Speaker B: That's a critical point fail. Whereas W. Willow was rolling that 20s every time. [01:17:33] Speaker A: You know, I got my constitution up to 22, thanks to my smile. I don't know. [01:17:42] Speaker C: Holy crap. If you using. [01:17:50] Speaker B: Oh, no. That. See here. That plays stand in. Y' all have got to pay us, because I will absolutely produce a real time ttrpg, Real play with show where we are all in character as wrestlers playing in character as being in character. [01:18:13] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh. [01:18:14] Speaker A: Oh, that's. That's layers upon layers. [01:18:17] Speaker C: Yeah, that's an. [01:18:18] Speaker B: Yeah. I'll take acting classes. [01:18:22] Speaker A: I. I like this match a lot. This match is fun. [01:18:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:18:25] Speaker A: I liked. I liked. I like when the triangle. I like when heels do heel stuff to win and cheat. Like, I like when he'll cheat. I know everybody doesn't like unclean finishes, but you know what? It. I like it. I like mist. Mist is good. Sierra missed. [01:18:40] Speaker C: They did the thing where they look. Hook them up in the corner ropes or the ropes in the. In the corner. And then do the power bomb, which is I always love. [01:18:50] Speaker A: Yeah. I also liked. I also just like, you know, you. You have the. The face and the heel corner, and, like, Athena's just gonna, like. Oh, are you okay? [01:19:00] Speaker C: Yeah. So fire. [01:19:03] Speaker A: I love Athena. She's awesome. [01:19:05] Speaker B: It sucks. Athena is so great. And, like, I'm always constantly upset that we don't have her on the main show, but also, I'm happy that we don't have her on the main show because she would be wasted. [01:19:19] Speaker A: It. [01:19:19] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:19:20] Speaker B: On the main show. And that. That's so up to say, isn't it? Like, it feels like your main show should be. Not that. [01:19:28] Speaker A: Yeah, I. [01:19:30] Speaker B: Women's discourse. Yay. [01:19:32] Speaker A: I'll do my full rant when we get to the tag match, but actually, no, I'll do my rant now. I'll do my rant now. [01:19:39] Speaker B: Rant me, baby. [01:19:41] Speaker A: The. The discourse is essentially that lots of people, myself included, I think, present company included, believe that the women do not get enough time on tv and that right now, the booking does not give them anything really to work with because they're not getting good storylines. And I have seen people give all kinds of excuses and reasons for why this isn't a thing. And I think some of them I agree with. But, like, ultimately, I think my feeling is that, hey, they're not giving these people anything to work with. So, like, if you. If Tony Storm, like, let's say Tony Storm is legitimately hurt. Like, we, like, and they're just not saying what it is. And Mercedes off, you know, taking time off. And now Willow's hurt and. All right, so what's your. Who's your champion? Your champion is Thekla. Thekla was really hot for, like, a few weeks, and now she's just in tag matches. She's not doing, like, her promos where she's calling everybody dumb that everybody's getting excited about. [01:20:43] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:20:44] Speaker A: Statlander's your former champion, and she's in this weird pack team. Odd. Odd Couple things. I. I don't. I don't know what it is. Harley Cameron is sad and depressed. [01:20:58] Speaker B: Mina and not being used. [01:21:03] Speaker A: Nothing. [01:21:03] Speaker B: Wait, wait, wait. I don't understand why we haven't had this this entire time. A Harley Cameron coming for Tecla's throat. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like I. I want. I want Harley, like, going for it. Like, well, that was also like. [01:21:21] Speaker A: I mean, like, this, like, the. The literal story they are telling with Harley is like, actually, nobody wants to team with her because she sucks. Like, how if. [01:21:32] Speaker B: Though [01:21:35] Speaker A: it doesn't matter because, like, this. This now becomes like. My point is, like, this is perception. [01:21:40] Speaker B: Okay? [01:21:41] Speaker A: The perception. If it's like, I'm gonna use Toni Storm an example. Before Toni Storm was timeless, she was just Toni Storm with the God Paige's ass group. [01:21:55] Speaker B: Oh, the Outsiders or Whatever. [01:21:57] Speaker A: Yeah. And then they wasted poor the outsiders. [01:22:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:22:05] Speaker A: And so they had her in that. And she was boring and she was dull and she was somehow the champion and nobody gave a. And then she lost the title and they let her mate do this character. They gave her this character. She ran with it. Nobody is give. Like, the women's division does not have that. Like, there's no, there are no characters. It's not that there's no characters. It's like nobody's being given, like, here's, here's something for you to run with and succeed with. Because as much as we like work rate in wrestling as, as AW fans and we like our work rate, it all comes down to perception. If Tecla is a fantastic worker. Tecla is not viewed on the same level as Toni Storm or anybody else or Mercedes Monet, despite being really, really good and really, really fun. And if you don't book her to do the cool stuff, nobody's going to take her seriously. Like, yeah, I, I know that there's like some debate on like, the merits of like, you know, who's left is who is who's left good enough to, you know, carry the division. And my thing is, like, we don't know because nobody's being allowed to try and do it [01:23:23] Speaker B: basically. [01:23:25] Speaker C: And I, I mean, I think what, at least from what I've seen, I certainly think so. And if not singular, then there's. There's definitely a depth of bench there that can, can support it. Like. Yeah. [01:23:39] Speaker B: Do you have any number. Yeah, there's any number of faces that could be gunning for the right now and, and telling a great story and they're just not like. And that's what makes it so painful to me is that you're just, you're just not. [01:23:54] Speaker C: You. [01:23:54] Speaker B: You have all of this amazing talent and you're just doing all. And I don't understand. [01:24:04] Speaker A: I just can't give something, literally anything. Just give them something else. And if there's not enough time on the show, well, then find time. [01:24:14] Speaker B: Yeah, do your better. [01:24:15] Speaker A: Maybe we. Maybe we don't need an extra promo from, you know, Rouge. Maybe we can maybe, maybe we don't need. Maybe we don't need like, like a Jack Perry in the bus promo. And I, like, we don't need them. [01:24:31] Speaker B: Or, or we do what I want what I consider the nuclear option. It. It's all intergender. Oh, just, just rip that bandaid off. [01:24:44] Speaker A: I, I think I, I think that might actually be a network thing. Like somebody was saying that like, oh, the network won't let them have the women on for no, no 10 minutes. It's like that's. That was a theory back in 2021 and it was debunked immediately. [01:25:02] Speaker B: Yeah, no, I think it's just that Tony doesn't know what to do and he sucks. [01:25:07] Speaker A: He lost his. He lost the cash cows and he can't be bothered. And that's kind of why, like, the, the women's island has got, like, really cool brackets and they're even more like, you know, kind of interesting now that Will is out and there's a wildcat spot. But like, it does not have the storyline depth that has been meticulously planted in the men's side. And that's, you know, like, sure, we're gonna get a lot of really cool and great matches, but you can definitely see that there's a level of care in story crafting for one side that is not there on the other side. [01:25:47] Speaker B: Yeah, because you can't tell me that then. No one on this roster has the ability to come up with and, and execute a story in collaboration with all the creative team back there. Harley Cameron. You can't tell me Harley Cameron couldn't sit down with the creative team and, and come up with a really great storyline for like a six month arc. She's a goddamn generational talent. She does everything. [01:26:16] Speaker A: I still, I still wouldn't say, like, all right, let's put. Make Harley Cameron the face of the division. But like, you could, you know, do something with her to set her up later down the line. [01:26:25] Speaker B: No, I say no. [01:26:26] Speaker A: I'm. [01:26:26] Speaker B: I'm. No, See, I'm crazy. I say it, man. I want her going. I want her going for the belt and winning and then, and. Oh, hold on, hold on, hold. No, listen, listen. Because then who comes back from losing all her belts and who hates Harley in the mini Monet puppet? Mercedes comes back from losing all the belts and. Come on. Come on, Tony, hire me. Come on. [01:26:59] Speaker A: I'm. I'm just saying, how are you not booking this tournament in such a way that you have set up Jamie Hayter vs. Tecla and Jamie finally gets her title back. [01:27:10] Speaker B: Seriously, that's another Wembley. [01:27:12] Speaker A: This is, this is simple. We're not doing this. What are we doing anyway? I'm done with that. Okay. [01:27:19] Speaker B: Yeah, sorry. And thank you for letting me get my fantasy booking in. We know that's why everyone pays attention to any of these shows, is to listen people on the Internet talk about how they can do a billionaire's job Better than him. [01:27:31] Speaker A: I don't think you can do a better job than him. I just think he should actually do the good job that he's shown that he can do. [01:27:37] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. I think I can do a better job. [01:27:39] Speaker A: Fucking Tony Khan. Knock my girl balls and hire me. Anyway, Jet Speed is here. [01:27:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:27:52] Speaker A: With the next world champ. And Speedball says they're. They together are about to become the faces of the Company because they're gonna win the world title. And Kevin's got the TNT title. And Knight wants a shot if Speedball wins. And they like the sound of that. Yay. Death. Writers are doing push ups because John didn't win. How he's gonna deal with the no time limit match. And he thanks Kyle O'Reilly for pushing him and driving him crazy to push him how to practice what he preaches. [01:28:27] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:28:28] Speaker A: Kyle rolled the dice tonight and won. And ain't that cute? Sunday you got double or nothing. The house always wins. Lay it all on the line. When it's game seven and it's all on the line, Do I miss? I guess. Does he miss? We're gonna find out. [01:28:46] Speaker B: All of a sudden he's talking about real sports. [01:28:48] Speaker A: Yeah, he just really went into, like a lot of sports metaphor. Gambling. He went gambling metaphors and then sports. Sports metaphors. [01:28:54] Speaker B: Do you have a problem? Do you need to talk? [01:28:57] Speaker A: It's the. It's the bottom of game seven and he's at the penalty. And he's at the penalty line. The field goal. [01:29:04] Speaker B: I have the kids college. I have the kids college fun riding on this. And like. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Wait. [01:29:12] Speaker C: Go back the clock. [01:29:13] Speaker B: Renee's like, hold on, hold on. What? [01:29:16] Speaker A: I know how to deliberately my sports metaphors because I actually watch sports. Some sports. All right. Aw. Ma. World championship. Yeah. Speedball. Mike Bailey versus Darby Allen. Shout out Speedball. Rocking purple so well with matching K tape. Fantastic. Well done. [01:29:41] Speaker B: Did we land on whether or not we want to, like, actually talk about this? I forget. [01:29:48] Speaker C: I mean, we gotta at least cover it because, I mean, also MJF shows up. [01:29:54] Speaker B: Sure. Yeah, we can get to that part. [01:29:55] Speaker A: But, like, we know what we did last week where we didn't really talk about the mat. We talked about the match, but we didn't, like, wrote it down. [01:30:02] Speaker B: Yeah, I would love to. Yeah. Yeah. I would love to save. I just time. Because we know what happened. [01:30:07] Speaker A: Yeah. I just don't want to get it into like a gigantic rant because this is our. [01:30:11] Speaker B: Yeah, no, that's what. That's what I'm trying to avoid. Void as well. They. They. They. They continue to feed the mid card to the. The hopeless piece of that that is can like leave and then never have it again. And that happened. It was. That's what happened. And then MJF came out to further the storyline. [01:30:32] Speaker A: Well, MJF was a commentary. [01:30:34] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:30:34] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, he came out and it was on commentary. [01:30:36] Speaker A: He got commentary too. [01:30:40] Speaker C: So this was Desperation Showcase. [01:30:42] Speaker A: There was. There's a part of this that I just realized, and I didn't realize it until after Mox had made all like the. The double or nothing puns. But, like, this is. This is Darby's seventh defense. Says lucky seven gambling. [01:30:59] Speaker B: Yeah, there it is. [01:31:01] Speaker A: That's. That's probably why they decided, like, let's get him. Seven defenses before connections. The pay per view. [01:31:09] Speaker B: What? Sure. I think there's all. I think there's probably several reasons why they. They went this route. I'm. I'm choosing my head can to be like, they're getting it out of the way because it's never happening again. And that's fine by me. [01:31:25] Speaker A: I don't. I don't see it again. Yeah, if they do it again, I would again, Des. If I've been almost certain they'll do it again. And if they do, I would certainly hope that they don't do it the way they've done this, because this has been, I think, miserable. And. [01:31:42] Speaker C: Yeah, this is the one time where B Ball's bare feet really got him into trouble. Squashed on the stairs. [01:31:52] Speaker B: Got the footsie. Squash in the stairs. I don't like that. [01:31:56] Speaker A: No, I don't. I didn't like that either. It makes me feel uncomfortable. [01:32:00] Speaker B: Yeah. You leave them features alone. [01:32:02] Speaker A: And like, like, I kind of like what kind of what I like about speedball. And I guess also this is Marina, since Marina wrestles barefoot too. Is both of them. They. They don't, like, ever really try and sell, like, you know. Oh, you know. [01:32:18] Speaker C: But stuff. [01:32:18] Speaker A: It's easy. It's easy to stop. Yeah. Like, they don't do foot stuff that often. Yeah. And, like, the only reason that the stairs work on speedball is because they're giant steel stairs. [01:32:30] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:32:31] Speaker A: They supposedly weigh thousands of pounds. [01:32:34] Speaker B: Yeah, [01:32:38] Speaker A: I don't know about all that either, but that's what they say. It's. I think the. The. The smartest. The thing I can say most about this match is they did not completely have Darby destroy all of Speedball's offense. Yeah, Speedball just did not hit his stuff. They missed. [01:33:03] Speaker B: Yeah, he just didn't get his stuff. Yes. [01:33:05] Speaker C: Yep. [01:33:05] Speaker A: It's. There's no Darby kicking out of, like, barbed wire, ultima weapon through a flaming table. [01:33:19] Speaker C: Yeah, it was. I mean, it was very interesting because Speedo's just wrestled a normal ass match. Yes. [01:33:26] Speaker A: Yes. It was just like, no, I'm not. [01:33:28] Speaker C: I didn't bring a bat. Was I supposed to. [01:33:32] Speaker A: They'll. They'll always do stuff about, you know, oh, I missed the. The Nicolepsy, and I landed on my knees. I landed on the barricade on my back. But they're not doing, like, ridiculously insane. There's no. There was no mo. Like, every. It felt like every other Darby match, there's been a moment where somebody, like, pulled out a shotgun under the rib cage, like, stuck it in there and pulled the trigger, and Darby kicked out at 2. [01:34:05] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:34:06] Speaker A: Yes. [01:34:11] Speaker C: Holy. Got it in one. [01:34:17] Speaker A: Whoever agented this match, good job. Yeah. Because I think it was probably the best of Darby's defenses and, you know, take that as you will. [01:34:32] Speaker C: Oh, man, I was so disappointed. [01:34:36] Speaker A: It was also really cool seeing Max. Max added a bit while he was out on commentary, just trying, kind of trying to, like, sell, like, the whole fact, like, he wants Speedball to win because then his hair is not on the line. And, like, even going to the point where he saved Speedball. [01:34:53] Speaker C: Yeah. He puts his foot on the rope. [01:34:55] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. He's like, what would I do? [01:34:58] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm just. Yeah, I'm just here watching the match. [01:35:02] Speaker B: I'm just commentating. [01:35:04] Speaker C: It's so interesting because Kevin Knight runs out when that, like, shortly after that happens, and he's, like, running interference to the interference is like, that's such a very face thing to do. Like, MJF is not trying to hurt Speedball. He's trying to help him. But, yeah, he's trying to last away. [01:35:23] Speaker A: Yeah, well, because he could have gotten him DQ'd. [01:35:26] Speaker C: Oh, that's true. That's true. That's true, that's true, that's true. [01:35:29] Speaker A: Which is kind of dumb on Max's part, then. Yes. Darby retains. He wins with the Ass Scorpion Deathlock. Max bails right away, and the crowd gives him. Knight had come out to help Speedball like you said, and so he gases up. Speedy says he's proud of how they fought the champion, and nobody's seen a champion like Darby defending week after week. And it's up to him to humble MJ As. And if Night can beat mjf, Darby can. And they'll send MJF back to Turkey and Jet Speed. Will there be there to challenge when he wins and then they leave. [01:36:15] Speaker C: Whining just happened after. He was like, proud of you, Speedball. And then high pitched whining. MJF goes out. [01:36:24] Speaker A: It was so weird. Like, Knight practically delivers all his promos like a heel. I was not alone thinking he was about to turn on both of them. [01:36:37] Speaker C: Yeah. But he just seems. Yeah, he has because he has these aspirations. Like, he definitely wants the gold. He like, he's just like, hey, as soon as you get that title belt, I'm gonna challenge you for it. And Speedball's like, hell yeah. Just it's. But he's always. It's always like, when are you gonna hit me with your. [01:36:56] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, but then he's like, hell yeah. You know, like that. Like we're buddies. Yeah. And Kev's like, no, no, no, I'm kill you. [01:37:03] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, he. He says everything in heel accent is how I would. Yeah, he's got the heel accent. [01:37:13] Speaker C: He does. [01:37:14] Speaker A: And I don't know. I like. My theory actually right now is both the Jet Speed are going to turn. They're gonna help Max win. Oh, I'd love. [01:37:25] Speaker C: Honestly love it. [01:37:26] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [01:37:27] Speaker C: I'll be a baby face, but I'll, you know, I'll with it. [01:37:30] Speaker B: I've heard tell that Speedball is a hell of a. Hell of a heel. So, like, I'm into it. [01:37:38] Speaker A: Hello? Bastard. Yep. So mjf, after Jet Speed leaves, MJF comes back and he beats the out of Darby. There's a fantastic shot of Max standing on the corner looking out at the crowd and there's like fans holding up like a sign that just says bald. [01:37:59] Speaker C: It's spelled out. It's great. [01:38:00] Speaker A: It looks really good. [01:38:02] Speaker B: Dedication. Yes. [01:38:04] Speaker A: He gives his watch to Taz to keep it safe. Grab some clippers from under the ring. He's gonna shave Darby. Darby turns the tables and Max runs. That's it. [01:38:15] Speaker C: I want to also point out that everybody that like nearly everybody had a fresh cut on this card as well. Like, Darby literally like just had his haircut. So did Orange, Cassidy and Roddy. I study men's haircuts for a living, so. [01:38:31] Speaker B: And. And as well as butt cracks. [01:38:33] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, butt cracks. [01:38:36] Speaker C: Actually deeply intertwined speaking ones. Anyways. [01:38:42] Speaker A: I mean, I could. You know what? Since I grew my hair out, I can see how that might be intertwined. [01:38:49] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:38:53] Speaker A: Anyway, long hair, strength and my butt crack, they like flosses, but it kind of feels good. Death riders I hyping up Will Aspen. Yeah, I love the viping him up there. Yeah. Let's go, big boy, let's go. Like it. Daniel Garcia is like super hype man for Will Osprey and it's adorable, truly. And our next match is Osprey versus Shibata. [01:39:30] Speaker C: First Shabbata match. For me, this is the first time Shabbata Russell incredibly quick. [01:39:37] Speaker A: He's very, very good. He, he's amazing. He used to, he used to be faster, better, stronger, but he, they. Oh, you don't, you don't know the story about his brain. [01:39:49] Speaker C: I'm sorry, what? [01:39:51] Speaker B: Wait, you don't know about Shibata's brain? [01:39:53] Speaker A: So. All right, so Shibata wrestled Okada in the main event of a New Japan show and he just straight up shoot headbutts Okada like as hard as possible in the head. Like just head button. It's loud, it's disgusting, it's audible. And he concussed himself and like they, like they thought he was going to die after that. He had brain bleeding. He had, he was, he was awful. And then he lived and I was like, well, he's never going to wrestle again. He wrestled. Obviously he wrestles again and he's, he's got the, the running joke is that he, they removed his brain and replaced it to, to fix it. It's like, wow. So like if you ever see people talking about Shabbat, it's like, wow, he's doing so good for a man who had a brain replacement. [01:40:52] Speaker C: Yeah, that's inc. Honestly, I'm shocked that more wrestlers don't have that where they're just like, oh, this is. [01:41:02] Speaker B: Wait, I was. No, see, I was under the impression that that was like part of. Just was part of a surgery had to have where they had to like straight up take his brain out and then put it back in after fixing something. [01:41:14] Speaker A: Ellie, you can't do that. Why not? I think they did. I think they did have to do like brain surgery on him. But like, I forget. It might have been. It was probably Rocky Romero or Chuck Taylor was like, wow, they removed his brain. That actually. Yeah, that sounds like Chuck Taylor completely. It was either. It was, it was, it was the best friend. It had to be. So. Yes. Well, I, my, my Shabbata story is I did get to see him. I got to see him wrestle once. I saw him wrestle live. I saw him wrestle Tanahashi in the Tokyo Dome in a five minute exhibition and it was like so cool. [01:42:00] Speaker B: That's unreal. [01:42:01] Speaker C: Five minutes. Oh my gosh. [01:42:02] Speaker A: They just, he has Roshi Hiroshi Tanahashi. That Tanahashi if you ever see him live, when he chops a guy in the chest, it is like a gunshot going off. It is. [01:42:16] Speaker B: Yeah, it's gross. [01:42:17] Speaker A: It like, it reverbs in the Tokyo Dome. [01:42:20] Speaker C: I will say Jesus. [01:42:23] Speaker A: And that's a big thing. All right, so Shibada is awesome. Yeah. The. They're. They're calling Osprey's new Flying Arm bar Death Ground. [01:42:37] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:42:38] Speaker A: I activate my disc ground move, brother. You've got to make a 15 DC save against Constitution to survive death ground. Sorry. [01:42:56] Speaker B: I got a four. [01:42:59] Speaker C: Kill you, brother. [01:43:01] Speaker A: That's a great brother. I dropped my sword. I dropped my sword. [01:43:10] Speaker B: See, Wheeler, you just at the table. But it's the George C. Scott boys, so, like. Yeah, exactly. This is. Oh, this is gonna be again, folks. Give us money. Give us money. Give us all the money so we can do this and waste your livestock lives. [01:43:28] Speaker A: Pay us to do it. [01:43:30] Speaker B: Yes, please. [01:43:31] Speaker A: Shabbat. His interest. Music rules. And like, yeah, they're kind of just doing like the. Will Ospreay does grappling now. And the best way that he's going to do grappling is he's going to wrestle Shibata, who is like one of the best shoot wrestlers alive. [01:43:47] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:43:48] Speaker A: And hilariously, Shabbata immediately goes for flying at the start of the match. Yeah, I didn't have a ton of notes on this. It's really cool. [01:44:03] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:44:03] Speaker A: Will's not selling the neck anymore. [01:44:08] Speaker B: The pussification might be complete. [01:44:10] Speaker A: Yeah, I think they did it. And it's just a very nice back and forth match. Shibata manages the counter with like a lot of his chokes and he gets a stalling drop kick and all the other stuff. Like, it's a lot of like Will doing stuff and then us and then Shibata being just like, I will lock you in place and kill you for a second. Stop moving, you stupid British tit. [01:44:37] Speaker C: Keeps him from going high and keeps him from moving fast. But thankfully he's been training with the Death Riders, so you can just take stuff to the chest now. [01:44:47] Speaker A: There's like a really good. [01:44:49] Speaker B: Yeah, I guess [01:44:51] Speaker A: there's a spot that I really enjoyed where at like Shabata kicks Osprey in the back and. And Osprey wills up and they kick Shabata and then Shabata gets him down. He's like, well, actually you. And then he just elbows him as hard as possible and hits a falcon arrow. Big elbow to the back of the head. Shabata actually gets a hidden blade and Bowen arrives to do the distraction. [01:45:19] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [01:45:20] Speaker A: And Bowen showing up makes Marina and Claudio appear. They just like, appear like they were not. [01:45:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:45:27] Speaker A: And then they just were. And Marie Marina backs off Bowens. And Shabata gets a low blow and an arm bar. Osprey fights out, gets the styles clash. Hidden Blade. Hidden Blade wins. Osprey wins. Yeah, this was, despite me just breezing through that. It's. It was a good match. And I would say it's, you know, worth checking out if you want to see Katsuyo Shibata, because he hasn't. It was. [01:45:56] Speaker C: It was match in a long time. [01:45:59] Speaker B: That's where I'm at. It's like. It's Osprey and Shibata and like, he came out and I was like, oh, oh. All right, well, this is good. Let's get pretty hard. [01:46:09] Speaker A: There wasn't a whole lot to it, and it's still all about getting Osprey as, like, you know, having the death writer style down. But it was solid. It was pretty solid. [01:46:18] Speaker C: It was another one of those. Yeah, I think, like, pretty classic wrestling. But also, you didn't. The time just flew by. [01:46:26] Speaker A: Yeah, that last. This last hour was just like, very, very quick. [01:46:30] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:46:31] Speaker A: All right, so, yeah, comes out. Joe comes out with a mic and Death Riders are watching on. He's like, well, well, well. Will and his wonderful friends come to the rescue. You. He's not here for Will. He's gonna get him soon, but he's here to take care of his friends. Will chose not to be his friend, so now he's gonna suffer the consequences. And he'll give you exactly what you want. You in a dream match, and Joe will put your ass to sleep. That was good. Yeah. [01:47:01] Speaker C: That was sick. That was so good. [01:47:04] Speaker A: We'll get to Mike Osprey's lane. It's a nightmare. This is a dream for him, but it's a nightmare. Every day he wakes up and he grabs his wife's ass. It's Alex Windsor. So he talks about. He grabs Alex Windsor's ass and then chucks his phone. And everybody's saying that he doesn't have it anymore. And, yeah, he's not the same. He had double neck fusion surgery and that used to be a thing that killed careers. Joe's gonna kill me, mate. I already died in this ring. And I don't think he's gonna stop himself from fully saying, hello, moxie. [01:47:34] Speaker C: He says, bloody ring, which is how the British say the F word. [01:47:38] Speaker A: I thought he said, yeah, he's. He almost said, yeah, yeah, [01:47:45] Speaker B: the Kings. [01:47:46] Speaker A: I did. I did Enjoy it like you know you're gonna kill me. I've already died in this ring, so what else can you do to me? He's got a chance to live his dream of man eventing at Wembley. And he's got a company and a whole country rider on his back. The Death Riders killed him and rebuilt him into a killer and an assassin. He's gonna win. [01:48:04] Speaker C: Sure is. [01:48:05] Speaker A: He doesn't do these like fiery baby face promos pretty well. Yeah, it's just like he can't do them all the time in the back. Cope and Cage, they met in sixth grade and they did because Christian had a ninja star. And then they became friends through wrestling and they've done everything together. And in an industry where not everything is real, their friendship is. [01:48:31] Speaker C: See, when he said that, yeah, that was good. [01:48:34] Speaker A: Fans have followed them for 30 years. And now FTR wants to end their tag team. So he needs the best version of FTR to show up so they can make them say, I quit ftr. You've made some questionable, Papa. Papa gets to talk. Ftr. You made some questionable choices. Yeah. When you were born, you look like your family. And when you die, you look like your choices at double or nothing. [01:48:58] Speaker B: That's a hard line. [01:49:01] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [01:49:02] Speaker B: That was such a hard line. And like, Holy is a 30 to 40 year old trans woman. True. [01:49:13] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, yeah. Wow. [01:49:17] Speaker C: The best lines. [01:49:19] Speaker A: Thank you, papa. [01:49:26] Speaker B: But don't send me to Maine. [01:49:29] Speaker A: For some reason, they're still doing the tag title match tonight, even though clearly, like, you don't cut. You don't drop a promo like that and then be like, oh, but then FTR might lose. [01:49:39] Speaker C: Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:49:41] Speaker A: Like off. Off of that SwashMash. Bruce Feasters. TJ Crawford. Do you know who TJ Crawford is? [01:49:51] Speaker C: No. [01:49:52] Speaker A: Me neither. Nobody else. And he lost immediately. I do not give a. Jesus. [01:49:58] Speaker B: Bull horns. [01:49:59] Speaker A: Moving on your horns. I don't care if you like squash matches. There's another squash match here. It's the women's Tag Team Championship Eliminator match. Divine Dominion versus Kaylee Lopez and Elle Valentine. [01:50:12] Speaker B: Yeah, I heard you like squash matches. So I got some squash match on your screen. Squash match. [01:50:18] Speaker A: They. They do. Divine Dominion are doing this thing where it's like they're doing the Eliminator match. You survive, but it's like five minutes. You have to last five minutes. [01:50:26] Speaker C: It's only five minutes. Yeah. You don't even get the, like the 20 for an eliminator match. [01:50:32] Speaker B: Yeah, I do like that. Tony Khan was like, you know the transes on the podcast said that it's only squash match if it's three minutes or under. So why don't you put a of ton timer on the screen so we know. So we know. [01:50:47] Speaker C: 290 comes in. I'm right under three. [01:50:50] Speaker A: It's a squasher, there's a squash. There's really not even much to talk about. They're. They're, they're, they're doing another one of these at zero hour and it's gonna be. Oh, who is it? It's Zeta Steel and someone else. I forget her name. [01:51:11] Speaker C: Steel sounds hard. As hard as it does sound as [01:51:15] Speaker A: a very cool Zeta steel. [01:51:20] Speaker C: They are 100 as a team. [01:51:22] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, I like them a lot, but yeah, it's. It's very hard to do this kind of gimmick because. [01:51:28] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:51:29] Speaker A: Who, who, who, who, who gonna win? Nobody. Yeah, like, there's no. [01:51:35] Speaker C: It was like, no offense. [01:51:38] Speaker B: It just gets boring after a minute. [01:51:40] Speaker A: The. The thing I hope they do is eventually, at some point, Harley gets a partner and they do, like, luchador masks and they do last congest conquistadoritas or whatever it is. [01:51:54] Speaker B: Yes. That would be amazing. [01:51:58] Speaker A: And they just last five minutes. They do that. That'd be fun. [01:52:01] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:52:03] Speaker B: Harley Graham. Bring back Harley Graham. The people demand Harley. [01:52:06] Speaker A: We need Harley Graham. But, yeah, that's, that's just a rough gimmick to get over, and I don't care for it. [01:52:12] Speaker C: Like, if you're gonna do it, at least make, like, push the five and like, give the opposite team offense just, like, a little bit. Like, enough to be, like, don't just [01:52:23] Speaker A: throw out, like, you know, local jobbers. [01:52:27] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [01:52:28] Speaker A: Like, squash. [01:52:30] Speaker B: Something that matters. [01:52:31] Speaker A: Somebody who I think could like, maybe last five minutes. All right, main event of the evening. Aw. Men's World Tag Championships. The Conglomeration Orange Cassie and Roderick Strong versus FTR Conglomerate. I. I adore that. All. The conglomeration has adopted Orange's backpack. [01:52:53] Speaker B: Yes. And they're color coordinated. Roddy's is red and Willows is pink and Kyle's is green. And I love it. I love it so much. [01:53:06] Speaker A: Do you think that they. I just had a very sad thought. I was like, do you think they. When Willow had to give up the title, Orange was like, I need that backpack back too. No, that'd be. [01:53:16] Speaker B: Don't be so sad, Orange. How dare you. Orange would never. He might never do that. He wouldn't take these backsies. [01:53:26] Speaker A: That's. No. He has been a heel. Not in. Aw. But he's been A heel. Stokely hates Orange Cassidy. He would probably assume that he would set the back. He would set the bag on fire in front of Willow. [01:53:42] Speaker C: Jesus, that is some deep heel. [01:53:46] Speaker A: Yeah, that's how much he hates Orange Cassidy. Yeah. So they attack right at the start, and they want to do the stuff. Pile up right away, and it's broken up. And FTR tries to leave because they're getting their ass kick. And they run down and Orange takes them all out with a dive after Roddy sets them up. And Taz is like, that cat is different. That's Taz, voice. [01:54:08] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:54:10] Speaker A: At quarter 11 at night, talking about [01:54:14] Speaker C: how Orange Cassidy, if you've not been. It's not been here before. If you're not familiar with Orange. Yeah, it's a different kind of breed. He's different. [01:54:24] Speaker A: So, yeah, they're doing a bunch of stuff. There's two commercial breaks in this match I want to just point out. [01:54:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:54:31] Speaker A: They go to commercial. Taz is like, let them regroup. They gotta regroup. Group Roddy misses a corner elbow so that FTR gets time to do their Heat segment. Stokely does a thing where he just, like, takes a cheap shot and commentary is all outraged. And Taz is like, well, I don't blame Stokely. Sometimes you got to get your stuff in. And then he's just like, get his stuff in. And Excalibur says, who is he, Brian Cage? [01:55:05] Speaker B: Holy [01:55:08] Speaker C: damn it. [01:55:10] Speaker A: They spend so, like, each commercial break, they're just like, is he getting his stuff in, Taz? Taz, is he getting his stuff? They're just bragging on him. [01:55:34] Speaker C: Gotta get it through the last. What is it, 15 minutes? [01:55:39] Speaker A: Like, you're really tazing it up tonight, Taz. It's Patrick. [01:55:42] Speaker C: Yeah. Because he's being salty about. Because Tony's like, wouldn't it be great if Orange and Rod Roddy won the tag team title tonight? Cass is like, oh, yeah, that'd be real great. [01:55:56] Speaker A: They get their stuff in. [01:56:02] Speaker C: Get your in. [01:56:03] Speaker A: Yeah. So, like, they're. They're giving Taz a hard time. And commentary is checked out. And I'm mostly checked out, too. This match was good. [01:56:10] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:56:12] Speaker A: There's, like, a really weird thing they. They, like. There's. There's a point where, like, Dax and Cash try and do Twin Magic for some reason. And. [01:56:21] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:56:22] Speaker A: And the ref is just like, you're bald. [01:56:30] Speaker C: But the. The ref is also bald. [01:56:33] Speaker B: He's pointing out they can't be twins. [01:56:35] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the thing is, it was twin. Yeah. Twin magic is when the Wrestlers look alike. Or like the Bella twins did it for. Well, they called it twin magic for the belt twins. But, like, if they look alike, they're just the same. And they just like, oh, well, I'm the legal person, but the ref can't tell. Yeah, you're bald. You have hair. You don't look anything alike. [01:56:58] Speaker C: Okay, okay, okay. I've not heard that before, so that's perfect. [01:57:02] Speaker A: I apologize. I thought we'd had twit match. [01:57:05] Speaker B: That is an old. That is an old trope. Yes. [01:57:07] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah, they just kind of run a lot of the FTR tag team stuff, and it's like, there's a lot of hope spots and a lot of. A lot of good stuff and. [01:57:16] Speaker C: God, yeah. [01:57:17] Speaker A: Crowd, like, really, really bites up. There's like one bit where I think you don't, like, see as much is when the faces make a tag, but the ref doesn't say it. [01:57:29] Speaker C: Oh, my God. Yeah. [01:57:32] Speaker A: And the crowd bit so hard on it. They're like, no. [01:57:36] Speaker C: They were just so much heat on this ref. [01:57:39] Speaker A: They were chanting refuse sucker the whole rest of the match. [01:57:42] Speaker C: Just. Oh, my Lord. [01:57:46] Speaker B: Listen again, this. This Portland. This Portland main crowd was like, red. Like, yeah, we'll buy anything. We're so ready. It's been so long. [01:57:55] Speaker C: The first pay per view match from like 96. [01:57:59] Speaker A: Yeah, seriously. [01:58:01] Speaker C: Oh, my God. It's Ric Flair and. [01:58:03] Speaker B: Yeah, it's flare and sting for an entire crowd. They bought it. They bought it. [01:58:08] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah, seriously. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's. It's. [01:58:12] Speaker C: Why would the ref not see that? [01:58:18] Speaker B: Leaves the. Leaves the arena and they're like, don't look at us. We're watching wrestling. [01:58:30] Speaker A: That would definitely be like. The local news would be like, well, wrestling returned to Portland, Maine for the first time in 30 years. And like, everybody's filing out with like, no, I do not consent. Do not put my face on the on tv. [01:58:49] Speaker C: Do not let them know I've been enjoying wrestling. [01:58:51] Speaker A: Don't tell people how I live. [01:58:58] Speaker C: Watches the obvious tag team team heel shenanigans. You live like this. [01:59:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:59:07] Speaker A: Why don't they have var replay? Come on. That was obviously a challenge. [01:59:13] Speaker C: Stop it. Stop the match. Let the tape. [01:59:17] Speaker A: We need robo refs. [01:59:21] Speaker C: Look at the camera. Instant replay. [01:59:27] Speaker B: Instant replay of wrestling is kind of funny as that we like, they would ruin it. Absolutely. [01:59:35] Speaker A: I'm going to talk about this instead of the actual match. Because the match. The match was fine. It was good. FTR retained. [01:59:39] Speaker B: Yeah, it was fun. Yeah. FDR retained. Congamo had some good. [01:59:43] Speaker A: I. I love I love how in wrestling refereeing, the referee never changes their mind, except for, like, the handful of times they do, and most of the time they won't. But, like, it always has to be like, somebody from the back has to restart the matches. [02:00:04] Speaker B: Like, yeah, gorilla soon back in the [02:00:07] Speaker C: day, just like, oh, reversed the. [02:00:11] Speaker B: The reverse the decision and. Yeah, and restart the match. Yeah, the restart. The match is a. Is a. Like a classic or. [02:00:19] Speaker A: But, like, you think about it, like, Bryce. Bryce gets a pop. Aubrey gets a pop every time they toss somebody. That's cool. Anyway. Yeah. FTR retained. I thought for a second Cope and Christian were going to show up and do violence, and show just ended. No FTR celebrating. I thought that was a hammer. Holy. I was like, what are they doing? Yeah, it was like a blur of the hammer. [02:00:49] Speaker B: Bang, bang, hampter soon going after rfk. Oh, that's right. We're trying to get all the wrestle bells. We're trying to get all the ring. [02:01:01] Speaker A: He did stop trying to get ring bells. Yeah, we maybe. [02:01:06] Speaker B: Hey, well. But if we say it's the end, we can get some in. [02:01:09] Speaker A: Oh, well, maybe this is getting a ring bell. I think that John Fetterman sucks ass, and the thing that I want to do to him is chase him up into a window with a crowd that has pitchforks and torches. [02:01:21] Speaker B: Yes. I actually don't. I don't feel like that's actionable. I mean, you're just. You're just doing a Frankenstein remake at that point. Like, that's just. You're just having him go for a run. He did. He did sick the cop. No. Well, he did sick the cops on someone for going for a run for. Yeah, but you, you know, don't look like that kid. John Fetterman's a racist, folks. All right. Thank you so much. [02:01:55] Speaker A: I'm sorry. This is. This is. [02:01:58] Speaker B: Yeah, this is very long. [02:02:00] Speaker C: Oh, it's great. [02:02:01] Speaker A: What are you talking about? [02:02:02] Speaker C: I mean, we didn't start till, like, quarter to eight. [02:02:05] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Actually. Actually, this. This is technically. Actually shorter than the last two. [02:02:09] Speaker C: Yeah. I will say just super duper quick, because I always like to shout it out. I love when Roderick Strong uses Orange Cassidy as a weapon. And I think Orange Cassidy loves it, too. [02:02:22] Speaker A: I think he does. I think he does. [02:02:24] Speaker B: I love when Roderick saves orange duplexes by just, like, being there. Just, like, just catches them and puts them down. It's so good. [02:02:34] Speaker A: What was the other one like? [02:02:35] Speaker B: He just. [02:02:35] Speaker A: He just kicked an FTR in the face. [02:02:38] Speaker B: Yeah, that's a good way. [02:02:41] Speaker A: And that was good. [02:02:42] Speaker C: Yeah. [02:02:44] Speaker A: I, I. Yeah. You know what? I liked how their relationship evolved, but rather just like, I don't get it. This guy, and he's like, oh, no, I get it, y'. All. [02:02:55] Speaker B: We're buddies. We're so buddies now. [02:02:58] Speaker C: Like, look at that. Versus Statlander and Sheeda. [02:03:02] Speaker A: And you're just like. [02:03:04] Speaker C: But, like, Roderick disappears until, like, he comes back and is like, okay, I guess we're gonna get into this. And, like, has his match, like, and now they're. They're working together. And even though he's kind of still a bully, I mean, that's just kind of how Roderick is. But she uses it in their team, which is great. [02:03:24] Speaker A: It was a good. It was a great example of, like, here's how you tell a story because Orange and Strong work together because they had no choice. This is how it was hurt. This is how you tell a story when you know the principal was heard, you turn it into something else. Do it for the women. [02:03:45] Speaker B: Yes. It's not that hard. Got J. All right, folks. W. Patreon.com. [02:04:13] Speaker A: Sam. Hey, everyone. Editor Piper here. I know you usually expect the Stinger here at the end, and we'll get to that. We'll get to that. I just wanted to apologize for my co hosts and their verbiage. They're just joking. They're making jokes. It's a long recording. They get a little punchy at the end. It's all goofs. It's all graps. Don't worry about it. And I also want to make sure that, you know, to go to patreon.com wnff pod to get all of your Patreon content. Give us money. We might make more. And because none of them said it. Happy wrestling. [02:05:24] Speaker B: I stopped crying. You can record now. There's a stinger. Use that one, Pip. Let the people know the fucking truth. This is what's going on.