The fe-fi-fo-fum of it all w/Not Anne Hatheway

March 04, 2025 • 01:40:42
The fe-fi-fo-fum of it all w/Not Anne Hatheway
Monday Night Fake Fights
The fe-fi-fo-fum of it all w/Not Anne Hatheway

Mar 04 2025 | 01:40:42

/

Hosted By

Garak Tailor

Show Notes

Garak Tailor (She/They) welcomes Not Anne Hatheway (She/They) to the commentary table for April 22nd, 1996. Roll that beautiful Beans Footage. Lotion returns for a strange night of Graps. Eric Bischoff Does Queer Slurs, and Mick Foley wrestles with his entire pussy. As always a general CW: Wrestling is an industry of Monsters and the 90's wasn't exactly a paradise of inclusivity. This is a one two punch of a topic. There will inevitably be brushing against hard subjects. That being said Chuds get the Goozle. have fun sickos Bsky Show- @mnffpod.bsky.socialGarak- @comfortingmoo.onlineNot Anne Hatheway asks that instead of finding […]
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Episode Transcript

[00:00:00] Speaker A: The following is from Ghost Coast Studios, the world's first and only podcast network. What if I burp? Is that gonna stay in? Because when I burp, it's with my whole pussy. [00:00:25] Speaker B: Welcome back to Monday Night Fake Fights, where I, Garrick Taylor, she. They am doing bits and a rewatch of Monday Night wars and making it everyone's problem. This week's returning esteemed victim is you. [00:00:41] Speaker A: Oh, my God. What's my name? [00:00:43] Speaker B: Announce yourself. I was going to say, what's your name? You got to figure it out. [00:00:47] Speaker A: I'm not Anne Hathaway. [00:00:49] Speaker B: Not Anne Hathaway. There we go. [00:00:52] Speaker A: I am definitely not Anne Hathaway. [00:00:55] Speaker B: That's the best we're going to get this week, sickos. Who's our guest? Can't tell you, but it's not an Hathaway. So thank you for coming back a second time. Not Anne Hathaway or the first time for you, but, you know, you had a cheesy, mousy friend that was here in the past leading into Cheese Mouse, and then it worked, too. We got blood for the cheese Mouse. I'm so happy I missed my cat, but I'm also happy that I don't have to fight her while talking to you, which is what happened last time. I swear. We have. Me and that cat have a loving relationship. I promise. It's just she. She. She loves with her teeth, you know, and that happens sometimes, but welcome back. Hi. [00:01:41] Speaker A: I understand that my cat is orange. [00:01:44] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. It's that orange cat thing. It's like, I love you, but I only know how to do sharp, you know? And. Yeah, that's just. [00:01:53] Speaker A: I love you so sharply. [00:01:54] Speaker B: I love you so sharply. Yes, I have beans, but they're spicy. Oh. [00:02:03] Speaker A: Anyways. Anyways, yeah, thank you for having me back. I'm excited. [00:02:07] Speaker B: Focusing about cats. I'm thinking about beans now. [00:02:12] Speaker A: We love cats so much that it's gonna be really hard to do this. [00:02:16] Speaker B: It's gonna be difficult, folks. We're gonna get distracted with cat talk. So normally, when I'll say, last time, I'd say, roll that beautiful bean footage. I'm talking Heinz now. It's kitty bean. Yes. Cats. [00:02:29] Speaker A: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Okay, no. [00:02:32] Speaker B: All right. I refuse to edit this episode, by the way. I'm leaving it all in. [00:02:39] Speaker A: Not Anne Hathaway, just everything. [00:02:41] Speaker B: Yes. [00:02:42] Speaker A: What if I burp? Is that gonna stay in? [00:02:44] Speaker B: Unless you really don't want it to. And then I'll. And then I'll take it out, but otherwise, I'M sticking to it. [00:02:50] Speaker A: Well, I would hope it would stay in because when I burp, it's with my whole pussy. [00:02:57] Speaker B: True. I love I. I say that. Well, you know, I'm leaving it in as I hit to mute the mic to cough. Holy crap. What a jerk. But thank you. I put you through this once already and you actually, like, kept watching wrestling. And it was very you. You are one of the. My examples of. A friend of mine and a former guest asked me on. On their show what, you know, what should wrestling do to get more people to watch? And I was like, apparently me, because I've gotten like three or four people to keep watching wrestling. Bailey watches wrestling now. I'm like, I'm sorry. Like, hamster watches wrestling. I'm sorry. I did it. I created more of y'all. [00:03:42] Speaker A: It's. It's a beautiful thing. But also, like, that's kind of true, because I think so. I. I came to this show with one experience with wrestling. [00:03:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:03:50] Speaker A: I have since then become someone who watches every single week. [00:03:54] Speaker B: Really? [00:03:55] Speaker A: Yeah. I've been watching aew. Me and my boyfriend, we watch. We're very into it. I have favorites. I care about the storylines. [00:04:04] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I never did a check back. I guess this is a good thing we're doing this. This is my check back. [00:04:09] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. I figured you would love this update. [00:04:12] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Yes. Sickos. We did it. One of us. One of us. [00:04:18] Speaker A: Fully converted. [00:04:19] Speaker B: Fully converted. All right. You hear that, Tony K? RJ City. I'm gonna have to take RJ City in this or somebody some. I gotta be mutuals with someone at AW at this point. But listen, pay me. I don't know how much one not Anne Hathaway costs, like, what that's worth to you, but pay me. I did it. I win. So I. I get you viewers. That's amazing. That is the coolest thing I made a wrestling fan, folks. [00:04:49] Speaker A: You. You made a wrestling fan? I mean, I'm gonna. I'm gonna. [00:04:52] Speaker B: I'll. [00:04:52] Speaker A: I have to publicly. Bit of credit to my boyfriend, the one who, like, already watched. [00:04:57] Speaker B: Yes. [00:04:57] Speaker A: And was like, oh, do you want to watch this with me? And I was like, yeah, I love wrestling. And he was like, you what? And I was like, yeah, bro. I have two experiences with wrestling. [00:05:05] Speaker B: Love it. Both of which are pretty cool. Your first. [00:05:09] Speaker A: Both of which were like, yeah, they were really positive, really cool experiences. So he was like, yeah, you should definitely try. [00:05:16] Speaker B: Yes, absolutely. Give it a go. [00:05:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:05:19] Speaker B: Fantastic. Well, we love a good layup, folks. We did it. It Took. It took three. It took three whole experiences with wrestling to really make it stick. And I. [00:05:29] Speaker A: That's it. [00:05:30] Speaker B: I love helping. So this there, look, we got some data for. For the experiments that I'm running Mad Style on my mutuals. And not any experiments in any sub basements of any headquarters. I don't know what y'all heard, but that's not real. Don't listen to it. But yeah. So we shall continue our science now. Now that you regularly watch modern wrestling, let's pull you back into 1996 again in April 22nd of 1996. [00:06:06] Speaker A: In the time machine. [00:06:07] Speaker B: This is the Scooby Doo ending from. From Wayne's World. Would you like Nitro or RAW first, my guest. [00:06:17] Speaker A: Oh, boy. I think I'd like to talk Nitro first just because I actually have slightly more to say about raw. [00:06:27] Speaker B: Interesting. Interesting. Okay, I think I might. There was a lot going on in raw. [00:06:33] Speaker A: There was there A lot happened. But we'll get there second. [00:06:38] Speaker B: Yeah, we'll get there second. All right. All right. So meanwhile, Nitro, the only live wrestling program is Monday, and you're gonna. [00:06:45] Speaker A: I love that. I love that. [00:06:47] Speaker B: He's. He's making it a pretty regular thing. I think he. I think he gets mad the. The one time out of the month every. Well, the one time every, like four to five weeks where they actually record it or actually do it live. He doesn't get to say it, and it just pisses him off, so he just goes it extra hard the rest of the time. This was a real, yeah, it's a good Eric Bischoff face. So I think this one. I don't know, something got up his ass this week. But more importantly, more important than whatever is up Eric Bischoff's ass. Pepe got googly eyes. Eric's trying to tell us some complimentary rules for this tag match. And like, okay, sure, sounds like something WWE did. I don't care. Pepe's in a space coat with googly eyes. That's all I care about right now. Eric. [00:07:50] Speaker A: Yeah, I didn't hear a word that he said. [00:07:53] Speaker B: All that right over my head did not matter. So then get my attention. Bobby tells us the cops are here to arrest Macho man for being basically terrifyingly divorced if they have to, which is, wow, they're really leaning into it now. Eric decides it's another. Let's call out the Fed by name. And they're gonna give away the results, this time with some queerphobia. So some heavy ones. He takes the jab at Gold Dust. And he says he is a RuPaul impersonator. I had no idea Dustin had gotten into fracking in the 1996. That seems like he was a ahead of the game. I mean, that's amazing. [00:08:39] Speaker A: It's actually kind of innovative. [00:08:41] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, no, the drag. Okay. Not the fracking. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. Yeah. No, they did the Woke mind virus. Did it. When I think of RuPaul, I think of fracking now. [00:08:51] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:52] Speaker B: That's unfortunate. And then Eric drops the big old T slur on tv. Transvestite. Not a sweet one from Transylvania. I'm less happy about this. [00:09:03] Speaker A: Yeah. Suddenly you can't say it. [00:09:04] Speaker B: Yeah. All of a sudden, new. Yeah. It's funny how. Like that. If you're not Tim Curry. Tim Curry gets that pass because he did so good. Yeah. Like, sweet. Damn. [00:09:14] Speaker A: Ah. [00:09:15] Speaker B: That was okay. It's a problematic film, but come on. Tim Curry. Dude. Tim Curry's art. Yeah. They only have three matches to give away the results to. And that's the biggest insult in my mind. Like, all the stuff he said, I'm like, that's whatever you're. You're disputing. You should talk about the fact that in. In an hour, they only had three matches. [00:09:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:09:37] Speaker B: Seriously now. Now that you watch weekly Modern Wrestling, does that not feel weird? [00:09:43] Speaker A: It was because not only was there not a lot of matches, not even not a lot of wrestling, there was also not a lot of mic time. I was like, what are we actually? What did we do? [00:09:53] Speaker B: Yeah, what did we really do here? Yeah. [00:09:55] Speaker A: What happened? What. What got accomplished? [00:10:00] Speaker B: It was a different time. Okay. It was 25, almost 30 years. Okay. I'm old now. So anyways. [00:10:11] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. These episodes are slightly, very slightly older than I am. [00:10:16] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I. I'm. I just crumbled away to dust. Holy crap. I am so old now. Oh, my God. Now I feel like I need to hide my five head. But now we get public enemies in their table against the American. [00:10:32] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:10:33] Speaker B: Yes. This is. This match is going to answer the question, what if the dishwasher from the food court took an Abercrombie and Fitch model, put him through a table on his lunch break, and I'm looking forward to it. Like, this is. This is a mall food fight. I'm ready. [00:10:50] Speaker A: Like, it was so inherently trashy. Like, every. Every aspect of that particular match was so just like. I. I don't know. I. I saw it. I think I watched it happen at a mall at my high school. Anywhere that there's a table like that. You can just do. You can just imagine it. [00:11:11] Speaker B: Yep. Oh, God, those tables, the fact that they use those t. That led to think of all the teachers who, like, got PTSD from having to stop kids putting each other through those tables. Anytime there was an event, like anytime any school event, they put one of those tables out. And I know what was going through my brain, you know, it was like, I'm just wanting to look at my friend to be like, you're gonna have to choke. Slam me, bro. They're. They're. They did it. They did the thing. If they didn't want us to do this, they wouldn't have put the table there. Thankfully, we never got away. [00:11:44] Speaker A: Come on, it's. This is a setup. [00:11:46] Speaker B: Yeah, come on. It's literally set up like the Public Enemy does. They set it up. They're like, we're gonna need you later. I love that Chekhov's table is just part of their whole thing now. It's part of the gimmick is like, this is going to come in. In handy in a little bit. A little bit into this match. Speaking of little bits, actually something really legitimately sad. Eric says they are sending thoughts to Brian Pillman, who is recovering from a rather severe automobile accident. And my heart drops because that's real. And this is a. The accident, like, really changes his career. And ultimately it. I mean, I'm gonna go ahead and say it. It helps kill him. [00:12:28] Speaker A: Oh, wow. [00:12:29] Speaker B: Yeah. In the sense that he never, like. It's like leading up to this, we've been seeing this thing where he was doing like, the 1, 800, call Brian or 1, 900, call Brian stuff. And. And he. I don't think he. He was very much not happy with wcw and he's trying to get out and, like, he's trying to do this thing where he's like, breaking kayfabe and forcing them to like, you know, like, you ever trying to get fired? You know, you bet a job you hate and you just try. Yeah, like. [00:13:01] Speaker A: Like there's quiet quitting and then there's trying. [00:13:03] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's quiet quitting and then there's actively going, like holding up a billboard to the other guys, going, quiet, call me. Yeah, that's basically what happened. And then all of a sudden, he wasn't on TV for a while. Now that we haven't seen him in a while, this is the next thing we're hearing is. Is in this accident. And it's really unfortunate because he's basically like, kind of left the company at this point more or less. And he gets in this accident and like it sucks because he got, basically he got hired at the Fed. They, they like gave him a contract. Then he gets in this accident before he debuted. So now like he has to recover from this. And they've hired him, they've given him this money, but he's like hurt, you know. So like it kind of. Yeah, it's. It really took the wind out of what he was doing. So he doesn't take the time to fully heal basically. And he can't ever work the same way again. They call him Flying Brian and he can't do that anymore, basically. And they try. The Fed kind of doesn't know what to do with them. We'll see. We'll get there when it gets there. But basically him trying to push himself through, not really recovering and all the pills and everything it took is what ended up getting his heart to give out. So like, in a lot of ways this is like the beginning of the sad end of Brian Pillman is legitimately this phone call like he's talking about. And I'm just like, oh God. Okay. I wasn't expecting that to happen. So let's bring it down. [00:14:41] Speaker A: Just take a moment. We'll take a moment. [00:14:43] Speaker B: Take a moment. We like to have fun here. But moment of silence for Brian Pillman's ankle. It's real up. And this match, much like life, just kind of happens, not a whole lot here. The commentary tells us about slambery. It's the return of the lethal lottery. This is like a nitro full of convoluted rules. Basically they're. Everyone's gonna draw random teams. I want to make sure everyone on this audio medium can hear the air quotes. Random. [00:15:15] Speaker A: The random team. [00:15:20] Speaker B: Yeah, it's real and it's random. 16 man tag team. And then the survivors fighting an eight man battle royal. It's really weird. They've done it before. It's strange. I think it's an old Dusty Rhodes gimmick. Whatever. The math continues to happen where they, they're doing all this on commentary and they like talk about how Ms. Liz is spending all of Macho man's money and the audacity of her tipping a waitress $1,500 with a credit card. And I'm just nodding along like, yes, yes based. Based. Yes. Yes based. [00:15:59] Speaker A: It's good. [00:16:00] Speaker B: Yes, correct. Women's women rock. Last week was a dudes rock for. For the show. This is a women rock show. Women rock show specifically. Go ahead. [00:16:13] Speaker A: I think we should put out that, like, women's rights are also women's wrongs. [00:16:16] Speaker B: Yes, we. We do. We say it a lot on this show. Thank you. I thank you for saying it. Not Anne Hathaway. We should say it more. People should be saying it louder. For the folks in the back. Women's rights and women's wrongs. [00:16:30] Speaker A: In fact, Anne Hathaway should be saying. [00:16:32] Speaker B: Yes, exactly. You're the person who's really doppelganging you. Let's be real here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What the. Anne Hathaway. [00:16:40] Speaker A: Gee, come on. Anne Hathaway. And I'm gonna send a strongly worded email. [00:16:45] Speaker B: Your people are gonna have to speak to my people. My people is Chunk. It's a cat. [00:16:53] Speaker A: He goes, meow, meow, meow. [00:16:54] Speaker B: He means he really. Yeah, to really lay it in. [00:16:59] Speaker A: He's currently asleep. [00:17:00] Speaker B: Oh, buddy. Okay, well, he means it asleep. He could be sleeping. [00:17:04] Speaker A: He means. He still means that. He's a little sleepy, baby. [00:17:07] Speaker B: I love him. So it's really late in that this match means nothing and is a big old nothing burger. Though it ends with a disqualification because they toss a guy over the top. This is like. Yeah. The look on your face. You look so confused. Would you like to explain your feelings of confusion? [00:17:27] Speaker A: So basically my issue with this match was just, why would they do any of that? Nothing happened. Nobody gained anything. The American males got hurt. And that's not what I want. [00:17:46] Speaker B: No, I. I want better for the. The males of America. Okay? Like, everybody wants to say, oh, these crazy feminists. Oh, this is transing their gender. Like, you hate men so much you became a woman. What? That part's true. But that has nothing to do with the wider problem. Okay. I just hated me trying to be a boy. It wasn't working. So the. The point of it being, I want what's right for the American males, especially Scotty Riggs. Buff bag. Well, sure, I guess. Cool. It's one of those ones. It's like, yeah, I mean, I guess. Yeah, you're human. But like, man, he's like, stiffer. Yeah, he's Stifler. Like, do I want Stifler to change his way? Sure. Am I holding my breath? No, that. That's Buff Bagwell. I'm sure Scotty Riggs is also a monster, but, you know, he hasn't been a monster on Twitter, so it doesn't count as much. [00:18:37] Speaker A: Makes. Makes a difference. [00:18:38] Speaker B: Makes a difference. This is so silly that. That over the top rope thing is a de. WCW only rule. It's like, I don't. I think it Got introduced in the late 80s and they're the only promotion that does it. And it never goes away. They just get picky and choosy when to use it as a reason to. To end the match in a dq. It's silly. But then the enemy sandwich Eric keeps trying to make it happen. Like fetch. We get to see it again. They did it last week. It's a fun little tag team move, but you can't really, like, do it in a match. I guess it doesn't make. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't make sense. So they're just like, I don't know, do some stuff. Get a dq, do the table bit. That's why you're here. Yeah, that's it. [00:19:25] Speaker A: They're here to just get people pumped up. It's a pep rally. It's a pep rally for the rest of the show. [00:19:29] Speaker B: Yes. It's a very nasty pep rally. A garbage themed pep rally. Exactly. [00:19:37] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:37] Speaker B: Put the people through the table. Much like, you know, again, me when I was younger and my friends at pep rallies going, look, they set the table up. I know there's Gatorade on it, but they put the table there. It's Chekhov's table. One of us has to go through the table. [00:19:52] Speaker A: Somebody's gone through the table. [00:19:53] Speaker B: Yeah. Kids rock. Women rock. And kids also rock. [00:19:57] Speaker A: Kids rock. I think kids. Oh, now I'm okay. Wait, may I tangent? [00:20:04] Speaker B: Oh, please. I literally have spots in my notes set aside for. This is probably going to be a tangent. This is probably good. So. [00:20:10] Speaker A: And was that. [00:20:11] Speaker B: No. [00:20:11] Speaker A: Was that one. [00:20:12] Speaker B: No. I didn't know you're adding your own. I appreciate you. Let's go. [00:20:18] Speaker A: So. Kids rock. Reminds me of my favorite. My favorite Instagram page. And the only reason I won't delete Instagram. Kids getting hurt. [00:20:29] Speaker B: Man, those kids, what did they do? They did. They had a couple. Them kids, they just. [00:20:34] Speaker A: You see them just running and they just fall. You see a kid on some swigs, all of a sudden on the ground, you got. You thought they were going down a slide. [00:20:48] Speaker B: No. Nope. Okay. I used to. [00:20:52] Speaker A: It brings me joy. [00:20:53] Speaker B: Yes. Hey. And I. I feel like it's. As a former. One of those kids getting hurt. I think we're fine. You're like, I've never been graceful, so I know you said kids swinging. And I automatically was like, I'm pretty sure that's one of the times I got a concussion. Well, I never got, like, confirmed, but like, I flew. I, like, flew backwards off of a swing because you know how you, like, jump off the swing, right? We would do, like, tricks. Like, trick versions, it was. And try to, like, score them. Like Tony Hawk, pro skater. And I had one where I would be on the back of the swing, so facing down, and I'll grab one side and, like, swing out so that I ended up standing right next to the swing when I landed. The problem is. Okay, okay, then you kind of see how it's going. You know what I mean? So, like, I'm swinging out of it and landing behind the swing set, but also over one, not stopping to think that my friend is swinging over one. So he was up here. I am back here, and I. And I roll out and land. And then he just comes back and kicks me in the face. Yeah. Had no idea I was there. So that was a bell rung. That's one of the times Garrick has gotten her bell rung. So that. [00:22:23] Speaker A: Oh, man, that's happened. [00:22:25] Speaker B: Yeah, that happens. So happy tangent. And now I can't remember where we were because of the bell ringing. Well, let's see here. [00:22:31] Speaker A: No, it just happened so many times. I mean, I think I rang my own bell a couple times. I was sledding. I went down a hill into a fence, and then I did it again. [00:22:41] Speaker B: That's another one where I hit that tree that one time. Oh, my God. [00:22:46] Speaker A: We're gonna talk about this for so long. We gotta get back to wrestling. [00:22:49] Speaker B: I have years of this show to go. I can't give away all my concussions. Concussion stories in one go. Oh, no, no. [00:22:56] Speaker A: Speaking of concussions. [00:23:01] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I go with this. Now I'm just thinking all of them. All right. Speaking of concussions, however, not a great opener of a match, but we go to commercials. Whatever. We. After commercials, they tell us Eddie and Chris Benoit. So like it. That's good. That was a lie, though, because first it's Mean Gene with some random women, which is always uncomfortable. Emily and Cherry, he tells us. Apparently, I've never seen them before. I don't think we will ever see them again. [00:23:32] Speaker A: Well, he's seeing them later tonight, according to him. [00:23:35] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Yeah. Let's just talk about both of these segments at once, folks. I won't. [00:23:44] Speaker A: Let's just do it all. [00:23:44] Speaker B: Yeah. This is going to be breaking chronologically. I don't care. I want to get it out of the way because these suck. There is no heat. The crowd is just dead through all of it. But they have to do the lottery. Pardon me trying not to cough. Okay? So, yeah, they have to do this lottery for this Convoluted thing they set up. And mean Gene does it with these ladies. Yeah. Like you mentioned, at some point he makes reference to, like, they're going to be hooking up later, and then he makes reference to, like, paying them, and I'm like, get it, girls? I guess, like, get that mean jean bag. But like, Jesus Christ. This is. I mean, weird, folks. [00:24:28] Speaker A: My singular note about those bits, because I just didn't. I just didn't want to take anything in with them at all, really. Was. So is he fucking those girls? [00:24:38] Speaker B: I think he might be. [00:24:39] Speaker A: Excuse me. [00:24:40] Speaker B: There's the burp I was expecting the promised one. Yeah, that was. [00:24:46] Speaker A: The promised burp has come. [00:24:48] Speaker B: The prophesized burp, as it was foretold, leaving it in there. So, yeah. With your whole. You have to. So, I mean, it wasn't really. [00:25:01] Speaker A: Yeah, I could do better. [00:25:03] Speaker B: All right, I believe you. I believe you. But no, absolutely, like, that sums up. And, like, mean jeans always kind of been like that specifically with woman. But, like, when he does it with. When he does this bit with woman, I like it because woman is the aggressor. And, like, and it makes it really fun. And you can tell that woman is just, like, having the best time trying to make, like, trying to make Jean blush, basically, is like. He's trying to do his job and she's, like, grabbing his ass, like, like trying to get him to break. And, like, it's so good. This. When you do it this way, it's just gross, and it just makes you seem like a. A pervy, skeevy old man. And I love sex workers more than. Than expecting them to have you as a client, basically. Gene, I'm sorry. I respect them too much. Go away. This is gross. [00:26:02] Speaker A: Well, like, what are you gonna do? Talk to them. [00:26:04] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, God. [00:26:06] Speaker A: Okay. Holden Caulfield. [00:26:08] Speaker B: We know. [00:26:09] Speaker A: We know. [00:26:11] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I'm happy we got that out of the way. We don't have to talk or. I. I guess I. I should tell everyone, though. The whole point of both of these is to let us know that Arn Anderson and Eddie Guerrero are gonna fight Macho man and Ric Flair, who have to team together because they're current. Right. Current enemies currently in a storyline hating each other. And they got randomly selected in the lottery to be tag team partners. And I just. Yeah, buds. It didn't work. [00:26:43] Speaker A: I don't buy it. [00:26:44] Speaker B: I don't buy it. You're giving the game away here. This is really. No, and then also, case in point, because there was two of these the other one, it's a bunch of jobbers. Alex Wright's going to be there, which is cool. But the whole point of is they want us to know that Steven Regal and the Belfast Bruiser are gonna have to be on a team together because, again, they are currently fighting. So that's really the whole point of both of these segments. Yay. So clever. And I do. I will say it's clever that they're fighting in the sense that, like, Steve Regal is like the British blue blood in the Belfast Bruiser is like Finley, like, this hardcore Irish dude that's kind of great. Like, tell that story. Hell, yeah. [00:27:28] Speaker A: I do like that. [00:27:28] Speaker B: I do love that. [00:27:29] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, let's dig into that. [00:27:32] Speaker B: Yeah, that. Why is this not on my TV more guys, when you're doing this on Saturday nights? Come on. Pardon. So, yeah, that. I'm so happy we got that out of the way because here comes the cruiserweight action, Ben Horseman Benoit. I think this is the first time we've seen him since he face planted on the concrete and got super duper concussed. And they, like, just kind of disappeared him off the screen. Like, they still finished the match, but it was like he was out cold. Yeah, not great. That was the episode that wasn't on Peacock. And I think that's why is that they're like, oh, this guy who ended up doing terrible things because of cte. Here's like, video of him getting CTE for our. Our. Our financial game. Let's probably take that off the network. [00:28:25] Speaker A: Let's get that one down. [00:28:26] Speaker B: We don't want to remind people that we. We did that. So. Yeah, and he's going against Super Baby Face, Eddie Guerrero. And these two are, like, best friends fighting. So if this isn't the match of the night, like, I will eat my gender affirming hat. Like, this is wild. They lock up. They do the back and forth, getting the guy in the corner and then, like, gently smacking the face, like, hey, gotcha. And it's just. It's lovely. The back and the fourth, it's so good. And, yeah, these are just two masters of playing with the crowd, doing stuff like that. And without making it obvious, the older guys will play to the crowd by, like, turning away and, like, playing at the crowd. And, like, these guys play with the crowd by doing shit that makes sense in the match that gets the crowd jazzed up. And that is so fucking great. Like, I can't even keep up with the cool, smart wrestling they're doing. I'm, like, trying To. I remember I was, like, trying to take notes during this, and I'm like, they keep doing cool. Like, Benoit sneaking eye rakes over the ref's back, you know, and, like, that. And it was just all these little things that were, like, just little details that you can miss because it happened so quickly and just fluidly. And it was. They told a really amazing story with this fight. It was really, really cool because those. [00:29:48] Speaker A: These two, I think, are, like, despite the cte. [00:29:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:29:51] Speaker A: Really incredible performers. [00:29:53] Speaker B: That's what. [00:29:54] Speaker A: Just, like, top of their game. [00:29:55] Speaker B: It's what makes the cte, if it all, so much sadder. [00:29:59] Speaker A: It's so sad. [00:30:01] Speaker B: It's so awful because, like, if he hadn't been a monster, this. He would have been one of the greats, you know, Like. But he had to go and be a monster, like. And it's him, like. And, like. Like, he took woman. That's the other thing. Like, I was talking about how great woman is. He took woman from us, him forever. But him and Eddie had a great match. Yeah, this is. This. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the joy of wrestling. I was gonna say, like, if y'all don't normally watch these, watch this one, you know, if you can. I know some people straight up won't watch his matches. I respect that. But this is a really good one. They have a lot of fun commentary starts telling us again about the cruiserweight tournament, which I guess is going on. They've yet to show us a bracket, so I guess we're supposed to just assume that. [00:31:01] Speaker A: How are they getting away with this? [00:31:04] Speaker B: Because it's not real. They're just making it all up, I guess. I guess we have to say that there's a tournament going on somewhere. All these cruiserweight matches we've had, someone's been keeping track of them, but we promise. I swear, though, seven months they've been talking about a cruiserweight title. And, like, stop with me, Eric. Make it happen or don't, and eventually he will. But I. I'm just so, like, let's go, you know, Like, I'm really, like, into this cruiserweight, and you keep teasing it, and Rey Mysterio is not here yet. I'm ready. I'm really ready to be done with this first, like, seven months of this journey. It's very. It's been rough, my friend. You've been here for some of it now. [00:31:48] Speaker A: I can imagine. [00:31:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:31:50] Speaker B: You see, I've. I have gotten you to see some. Some pretty wild. It's starting to drive me a little nuts, I think. Because, like, this stuff, it's just. I needed to get really good, because I know it gets really good. I. It was really good when I was a kid. I was there. I saw it. It ain't there yet. And it's starting to really get rough. Nails, chalk, all of this. And even. Yeah, the World Whining Federation, even, like, the. The like. Ooh. Is just. It's cringe and not a fun way. You know me. I love me some cringe. This is like me going, oh, even this is when you got Garrett going, that. This is too cringe. Like, that's saying something. [00:32:36] Speaker A: That's a. That's how you know. [00:32:37] Speaker B: Yeah, that's how you know it's bad. Like, Garrett, she loves cringe. I'm like, I do. I love cringe. I think everyone should feel their feelings more. Damn it. But it ends. Ends with a series of fantastic reversals. We get going with whip and what Getting the heel win by holding the ropes behind the rest back. Bobby, of course, though, says, oh, he was losing his balance. He's reached out to brace himself. It could happen to anyone. [00:33:03] Speaker A: Get out. Get out of there. [00:33:04] Speaker B: He wasn't cheating. It's just, you know, lay off him. I love Bobby. Good. Good for him. And then we come back from commercial. Mean Gene is here with a dude in a suit representing the office. And I guess I'm like, this ought to be weird, but at least it won't be another lottery, Mr. Garden. [00:33:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:33:26] Speaker B: And then Macho man comes out. Too much buzz. So this is Macho getting in trouble with corporate, basically, for being too divorced. You are too divorced, sir. It's getting in silly. We need you to calm down. Basically, the cops are here, so there will be ramifications. The guy puts it like. How's he put it? You got to stop these current sets of actions. [00:33:53] Speaker A: Yeah. It doesn't even make sense dramatically. [00:33:56] Speaker B: It's word salad, weirdly. But I think what happens is he's trying to sound like legalese, but he's just a guy who works in the back of a wrestling company. He's like, I don't know what any of these words mean, but you. These current sets of actions got. Shit's gotta stop, bro. There will be ramifications. Macho says, oh, ramifications. You know, what a big word. Oh, yeah. Listen, you guys down at City hall in the office. And I just stopped. Listen, I like blue screen for a second because I was like, I don't think the local government has anything to do with this. Macho. [00:34:39] Speaker A: Yeah, no, they don't care. [00:34:41] Speaker B: They don't care. Also like that you move from city to city every week. So what city. What city hall are you threatening? [00:34:49] Speaker A: Which city hall? [00:34:50] Speaker B: Yeah, the one you're in now or the one you're going to be in next week? Okay. [00:34:54] Speaker A: Or the one you were adjusting? [00:34:56] Speaker B: Or the one. Yeah, yeah. Which one? Because this is an ongoing thing. So he says, if you don't let me do what I want to do, I'm not going to beat city hall. I'm going to blow it up. And then he walks away and paces like he realizes he just threatened to terrorism on live tv. [00:35:14] Speaker A: You know, like, it really was terrorism, wasn't it? Just a little bit. [00:35:18] Speaker B: Kind of threatened to blow up city hall. Like, I. I don't really know what else to call that. This goes on for a while. They tell them to get psychiatric help. I don't think they mean it in, like, good faith, but honestly, everyone, therapy is good. You should try it. [00:35:36] Speaker A: Could. Could therapy have saved Macho Macho man. [00:35:39] Speaker B: And thus Miss Elizabeth? Yeah, man, therapy really could have saved a lot of these guys. I think the world is traumatizing, folks. Okay? It does nothing to pretend like you are immune to good. All right. Love you, sickos. Go talk to someone. It's good. It's been a weird nitro. It's getting me all sincere and emotional. [00:36:01] Speaker A: Yeah, we should have done this one second. [00:36:03] Speaker B: Yeah, we should have done this one second. This was really hard. Thankfully, there's an antidote to taking anything seriously, and it's Jim Duggan. [00:36:14] Speaker A: Ain't that the truth? [00:36:15] Speaker B: Ain't that the truth? Oh, I will say, though, apparently Meng is no longer in the dungeon of doom, which is pretty cool. Like, he's. He's free of the. He gets his own entrance. And he just looks. He looks good. I like his song. He looks good. He's got a robe that I'm jealous of. If, like, it's like if Dan flashes made robes, which I'm into. [00:36:38] Speaker A: Yeah. So I thought he looked really cool. [00:36:41] Speaker B: He did. And he looked like he spent like $5,000 on that robe at Dan Flatches. And I want it. He. He gets a great entrance. I'm happy for Meng. And this is fun because, like, Duggan and Meng have done this. It's one of those matchups where I feel like they've done this like four times. Like, this is like, if you pick a random nitro from the last seven months, there's a good chance you saw Mang versus Duggan. I feel like I it. But it's a banger every time. I'm not mad. Like, I, what if there's one guy who watched nitros? He only watches Nitro because he saw this match. It was like, I wonder if he'll do this again. And then they keep doing it. It brings them back in. I. I like this. I like this for that. [00:37:22] Speaker A: I like making up a guy who likes things. [00:37:26] Speaker B: I'm just high enough for that to, like, really be funny to me. Yeah, I like making up a guy. [00:37:33] Speaker A: Making up a guy who likes things at a point. [00:37:35] Speaker B: And then I forgot what I was going to say, and then you said that. Now my point does not matter. You really. You killed it there. Well done. [00:37:45] Speaker A: Thank you. Thank you. I will say for this, this match, I took very few notes because I was starting to get sleepy, but it was engaging enough that I still wrote down they were both incredible. [00:37:59] Speaker B: They were. They're really. That's what I mean. They're very good at this. It's halfway into the show, barely the start of the match, and I want to see these guys have a good time. But Eric repeats his World Winding Federation rant, and I feel like I have to take note of it because that's twice now. Bobby sounds uncomfortable about it because his best friend Gorilla still works over there. And, you know, that sucks. You know, you got a friend who still works at the competition. And, like, I could feel Bobby, like, cringing. Like, can you stop? But, yes, this is just. [00:38:30] Speaker A: Lay off. [00:38:31] Speaker B: Play awful. I love Gorilla. He has banana. He's my buddy, so. But yes, I agree. This match was very fun. Mangroves. Jim Duggan is awesome. He's the epitome of, like, campy violence, you know, he's like, if Popeye was real. [00:38:48] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, absolutely. [00:38:50] Speaker B: Except instead of spinach, it's sticking his tongue out, like. And he comes rocking back. Yeah. [00:38:57] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Yeah. Why does he do that so often? [00:38:59] Speaker B: I don't know. It's where his power comes from. Like, it's how he's able to dug it up and. And get. Get back into it. And eventually he does it once and it works. And then he gets thrown out of the ring at one point and he cracks open a second can of spinach and he tapes his fist with his tongue sticking out, and, you know, he really means business. And this was great because he hits Meng with it. And Meng, Meng's selling of this was so fun because he, like, knocks himself straight, like, stiff as a board. It just falls backwards, just falls into the ground. [00:39:36] Speaker A: That was so good. [00:39:38] Speaker B: I was like, yes, no more guys should. Should bump like that. Like, that was really great. Like, he got knocked out on his feet. So that was a fun end to. To that one. It was like, no, not much to say about this because this is just a good old mang versus Doug and match. [00:39:54] Speaker A: It was very, like, clean. [00:39:55] Speaker B: Very clean. They know what. [00:39:57] Speaker A: It's what you expect. [00:39:58] Speaker B: Yes. And they've done this. [00:39:59] Speaker A: You were like, okay, yeah, yeah. You could see the choreography. They've done it. You like, I haven't seen them do that before, but you have seen them do that before. [00:40:10] Speaker B: Yes, but they still made it. [00:40:11] Speaker A: You can tell. [00:40:12] Speaker B: Yeah, they've practiced. Yeah, yeah. They're old hands at specifically this. And they're allowed to actually do it all the way to an end because he's not in the dungeon of doom anymore. So they don't have to have, like a shitty heel finish and they could just have a match. That was really nice. What I was gonna say next in my notes. We already talked about. I could skip past that. The freaking Gene hooking up with. With Cherry and. And friends. We come back from commercial, Eric again says that wcw, the C stands for commitment. I need him to let it go. I need him to let it go. It's starting to bother me that commitment to action means this is the main event. Flair and the Giant, the weirdest combo ever, versus Sting and Luger for the second week in a row, I think. And then Flair goes out again and cucks Mago McMichael live on TV, kissing his wife's hand. I don't know if you caught that, but he goes over to the lady in the red dress. That's Mago's wife. [00:41:17] Speaker A: Come on, everyone, relax. [00:41:19] Speaker B: Yes. [00:41:20] Speaker A: That was my feeling. [00:41:22] Speaker B: Like, just let it go. Mago pretends to. He pretends to hate it. And I've spoilers. He really is pretending to hate it. They end up on the same side. But it's. I think it's just kind of funny because I can't figure out why this is other than the fact that Vince has more Sunny and Sable coming out being hot every week. And Nitro wasn't really doing that. So I almost feel like Eric was like, mago, you have a hot wife, right? And he's like, yeah, can we. [00:41:55] Speaker A: He's like, yeah, of course. [00:41:56] Speaker B: Yeah, dude. Please don't tell her I said anything different. He's like, can she come out and be hot? I'm like, yeah, we can do that. Come enjoy my hot wife. And, like, what can she do? She can. I don't know, flirt with Ric Flair. Yeah, this is fine. Eventually. [00:42:12] Speaker A: Yeah, that sounds great. [00:42:13] Speaker B: Yeah, that sounds great. This is everything I've ever wanted. [00:42:16] Speaker A: Like, who at any point is objecting to this? [00:42:21] Speaker B: I think I just build myself a new head cannon. I have no. I think cuckoldry is a fine profession. It is a fine pastime for those who are into it. And in my head cannon, Mago is all into this. He's just like, literally, this is the best time he's ever had. The, like. Like, are you kidding me? Ric Flair's gonna. My wife. Holy. That's awesome. Like, he's a big Ric Flair fan. Mago's just having the best time. [00:42:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:42:48] Speaker B: Good for you, Mongo. Good for you. This. This is a weird one. This is getting weirder and weirder. Before the other team can even come out, though, Macho comes out to kill Flair. Can't. Can't have it. He's. He's off the line. Sure enough, the cops come and handcuff him and pull him out. Steve Austin's gonna actually do this bit in a couple years, and it's. It becomes, like, iconic. And I think it's kind of sad that, like, they did it already. I never realized this growing up because I wasn't watching yet, but, like, they did the bit. They did the bit where they arrest the guy. Like, Austin wasn't the first one to do that. And it's one of those revisionist history things that Vince does about this whole time period is, like, it's a thing he won, you know? So all these documentaries that get made about the Monday Night wars, were they getting made and published and produced by the guy who won? [00:43:44] Speaker A: Right. Like, so it's never going to be a fair picture of what happened. [00:43:48] Speaker B: And can you. Yeah. You know, so, like, can you really trust that? [00:43:52] Speaker A: How reliable is that narrator? [00:43:54] Speaker B: Yeah, so that's kind of part of why I wanted to go back and watch all these is because the. It fascinated me. I lived through it. Oh, I'm getting very dry throat. [00:44:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:44:05] Speaker B: Where was I? [00:44:06] Speaker A: What if I said, no, have beef now. [00:44:10] Speaker B: You just have beef now. Yeah, no, it's. Let's gay fade beef. All right. No. [00:44:18] Speaker A: How your mouth is dry, your throat feels funny, how dare you, etc. Etc. Etc. [00:44:26] Speaker B: Yes, they. They arrest Macho man. And it's. I think it's funny that, like, the point of that before I lost is that the winner gets to write the history. But I'm watching all this, and I'm seeing all these things where, like, Vince ripped them off, like, all this stuff he tries to say that was the other way around, but, like, no, Vince ripped them off. Like, it really was the other way around on a lot of it. Including that, like, including Stone Cold himself was in WCW before he came. Like, a lot of the guys. Like, even so, it's really been interesting to. To the defensification of this story. Even of all of this has been really worth all of this for me because. Yeah, that. So they arrest Macho. It's not as iconic, unfortunately. Rick stops him while he's down and, like, flirts with Deborah some more. That's pretty funny. [00:45:26] Speaker A: Oh, that was so good. That part was iconic. [00:45:29] Speaker B: Yeah, I was gonna say that was iconic. That's iconic flair. I'm gonna get you. So that. That is both styling and profiling, folks. Stinger's gear. Speaking of styling, though, Stinger's gear this week is everything. The 90s vape. [00:45:47] Speaker A: I was obsessed. [00:45:48] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Yeah. Vaporwave, scorpion and gay as hell rainbow font and shiny pink boots. I need this fit, folks. I don't know. I don't know about tights, but I need this fit bad. And this is. Once again, it's a match straight out of the cookie cutter drawer. But I'm not mad. These cookies are really good. I am cookie monstering omnom. It's the good stuff. Me up. Woman gets her hands. Speaking of, we talked before about women's rights and women's wrongs. Woman does some wrong and gets her hands on Sting. Mago says that her nails get manicured to a point. And then Bobby says toast, too. And there's like a silence there. And I assume it's the other two corpsing, like, just trying not to laugh. Toast, dude. [00:46:44] Speaker A: It has to be that, too. [00:46:46] Speaker B: Well, you know. Aw. Now that H. They do that, too. That happens to, like, Excalibur in them all the time, where one of them will say something really funny. Next thing you know, it's like, oh, like, Taz is just losing. You're like, I can't even keep going. I'm laughing too hard. I love that. [00:47:01] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:47:01] Speaker B: Oh, that's so. I can't believe I. I helped make you a wrestling fan. Golly gee. That's just. That's the bee's knees. I tell you, that just dandy. It's dandy. Gosh, golly. This match cooks, though. Like, the pace is breakneck. [00:47:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:47:19] Speaker B: For, like, 10 minutes straight. They just. They don't slow down. They're just wailing everything. And it. Because it's cookie cutter, but it's the whole drawer. They took the drawer of cookie cutters out, and they said Christmas, and they dumped it in the ring. Is all, we're Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas books. We're doing all of the cookies. We're doing it fast. The cameraman starts showing us a cup of coffee in woman's hand, and that tells me it's coming to an end. That's foreshadowing. There was a couple, like, fun bits that were. I felt were worth mentioning, though. Like, Giant gets his hand around Lex's throat for a choke slam, and Sting takes, like, a minute trying to get him to let go. And it just. Yeah. [00:48:02] Speaker A: Oh, that was so good. [00:48:03] Speaker B: That was fun. I love. I love Big Guy going, no. Just no. Big guy says no, Big Guy. [00:48:11] Speaker A: And everything that Giant did was very Big Guy say no. It really, like, he didn't actually do very much much, but what he did do, no one could stop him. [00:48:20] Speaker B: Giant was kind of on fire tonight as far as understanding his assignment and his gimmick and. And where he fit into this match. Because then eventually Rick throws. Goes to throw the coffee, and it gets in Giant's eyes. [00:48:37] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:48:38] Speaker B: The way he sells it is so, like, the Fifi foe fum of it all, you know, he's, like, so funny, like, waving. Waving his arms around. This is. [00:48:52] Speaker A: This had to have been exactly what the Cyclops was like after he got shot in the eye, you know? Like, it was so. It was mythical. It was mythical. The Fifi Pop home of it all. And. And Ric Flair, of course, has no choice but to run the away. [00:49:10] Speaker B: Yeah. At first he tries to bring about, like, bring up a towel, yo. Like, I'm sorry I got in your eyes. [00:49:16] Speaker A: I'm so sorry. [00:49:17] Speaker B: I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Please don't kick my ass. It is fantastic. The. It needless to say, the match gets thrown out. I kind of figured it was gonna end something like that. But this was really the. I hate this kind of ending to Nitro because it happens so often, but they really made the comedy of it, like, saved it for me. Giant, the Fifi fo f of it all. Ric Flair, the of it all. Like, it was all wonderful. They're trying to be like, yeah, like, yeah, but, like, give him the towel. And you're like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just so good. Oh, so great. But it didn't work. He runs away. He's like, Giant's still mad. And then Gene comes in and, like, we're gonna talk to the giant. And this was pretty amazing. That coffee bird. Like a fire in my soul. And I want your belt. So I was. [00:50:19] Speaker A: It was just so. I don't know. Elementary. [00:50:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:50:22] Speaker A: But in the best way. [00:50:24] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:50:24] Speaker A: I was like, yeah, of course. [00:50:25] Speaker B: That's what he would. Again, the fifi faux fub of it all. It's so. It would be silly if I. If I was expected to take it seriously, but I feel like I can't be expected to. To take it seriously because you're just calling him the giant. So, like, he's just acting like that. He's acting like the fairy tale giant. So wild. Rick's like that. I'm going to go to the commentary booth and grab a mic and tell you to. To eat it in real time. So he's like, you. I watch you. I try to apologize. You don't like it. And now I'm mad because that's how that works. I don't like the way you look at the girls anyways. Which felt like a little weird and unnecessary. [00:51:06] Speaker A: Yeah, There was no reason to do that. [00:51:07] Speaker B: There's no reason for that. What the. He demands the giant apologizer next week. He's gonna kick his big ass. And, like, no response. [00:51:15] Speaker A: That's the best line. [00:51:17] Speaker B: Yeah. Kick your big ass. I'm gonna kick your big ass, giants. [00:51:22] Speaker A: I want to say that to someone, right? [00:51:24] Speaker B: You know, find someone. Say to your boyfriend, I would kick your big ass. [00:51:28] Speaker A: Someone break up with me. [00:51:31] Speaker B: That's terrible. I was gonna say, say that to a loved one, not a stranger. So I was like, say that to your boyfriend. That's. [00:51:40] Speaker A: That's a stranger. [00:51:41] Speaker B: That's how my brain works. Is my. Said, don't. My brain's like, don't say that to a stranger. And what came out was, say it to your boyfriend. That's. Congratulations. You see how my brain works in real time. [00:51:56] Speaker A: That was beautiful. [00:51:57] Speaker B: What I thought and what came out. I'm sorry. To your boyfriend. Not Anne Hathaway's boyfriend. I' ass is fine. So, yes, it's official for next week. There's a title match. This nitro has been better than the last two, but that was a really low bar. It was still pretty fun, but. Hot damn. Bobby tries to plead with Ric Flair to get his together because he loves him, basically. And that's the end of nitro. Any final thoughts on that? [00:52:27] Speaker A: It felt, I don't know, like a very standard episode of wrestling. I was like, okay, Nothing. Here we are. [00:52:34] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, Exactly. [00:52:35] Speaker A: Nothing huge. It was Good. It was good. Like, don't get me wrong, like, it was good. No, but there was nothing that, like, really wowed me. [00:52:42] Speaker B: I really, really, really, really agree. I feel like there was multiple points in my notes where I, I just was like, I don't even know what to say about this match because it's just like I said about the American males match. Well, this, it happened. Yeah, like, yeah, that. This is a match that happened. There was table spots. It was cool. But other than that, yeah, there's like. [00:53:05] Speaker A: There'S like one notable thing per match, and that's it. [00:53:08] Speaker B: And sometimes that's the best you can hope for to, to be honest. And like, honestly, like, compared to the last two. I'll take a minute. I'll take a minute over the last. The last two nitros were bad. The last one was a raw tier nitro. It was, it was not great. So, yes, I'll take it. Hey, hey, hey. Sicko's got Kendricks here to remind you of the Monday night fake fights. Patreon. Patreon.commnnffpod you're gonna find pay per view, watch parties. You're gonna find extra interviews, other extra things. You could go ahead and say that we, we at the pot here are. Extra, extra, extra, extra. Read all about it. Newly cracked clone of former wrestler needs wrestling themed tank tops to show off her banging bod. You can find that at Eric's mid dot store for all sorts of goofs and graps and various other expressions of capitalism. Oh. Oh, gosh. All right, well, it looks like the interns found me, so I gotta get this window popped out. But remember to like. Great. Subscribe all those things and. Well, back to you, Garrick. [00:54:19] Speaker A: Okay, now I'm back. [00:54:20] Speaker B: Welcome back. Thank you. [00:54:24] Speaker A: Now I'm back. As though we didn't talk the entire time. [00:54:28] Speaker B: You know, that's the magic of editing. No one knows that anything happened as far as I know. Nothing weird happened. Everything seems to be fine for the most part. There was, there was like some weird alarms earlier, but I'm sure, sure that's nothing. But yes, we, we're, we're back. Everyone has got their liquid. We did take a small break to refill our liquids, but now raw time. I'm excited because I don't think, I don't think goldust was here the last time you were here. [00:55:00] Speaker A: Oh, no. Gold dust sure was. Because the episode that. You remember now, don't you? [00:55:07] Speaker B: Yes. Okay. Yes, I do. I, I, it was, that was like. [00:55:12] Speaker A: That was not a wrestling match. No, that was gold dust getting assaulted. [00:55:16] Speaker B: Yes, that's what happened. That's what happened. Last time I had you was the hate. The very, very heavy hate crime episode for folks on Patreon. We're recording this weekend because I recorded once and. And then lost the file because I'm professional. But we're doing the WrestleMania 12 watch party where Goldust will in fact be hate crimed again. This time it's technically part of a match, but it ends in. In a hate crap because Roddy Piper's got a hate crime. It's Wrestlemania. He's got to do it. It's in his contract. [00:55:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:55:47] Speaker B: Yep. And they also make really good O.J. simpson jokes, which is just exquisite because it's 1996, so patrons check that out. But yes. Now you. I don't think you had Goldust and Marlena, though. I feel like Marlena wasn't there yet. [00:56:07] Speaker A: No, Marlena is new and I have several questions about Marlena. [00:56:12] Speaker B: Please. [00:56:13] Speaker A: First and foremost. [00:56:14] Speaker B: Yes. [00:56:15] Speaker A: First and foremost, is she single? Second, can I get her number? Third, how do I become one of them? [00:56:25] Speaker B: See this. This is why we're friends. Is because those are my three questions too. I don't know. [00:56:31] Speaker A: There we go. There we go. [00:56:33] Speaker B: Have the same, like, criteria of answers because, like, is she single? That doesn't really matter. I'm polyamorous. I forget what the second one was. [00:56:42] Speaker A: She interested in me. [00:56:45] Speaker B: Interested in me. I mean, I feel like I could pull off a gold dust. I could. Absolutely. The bizarre one, Garrick Taylor. That could be a new profile. Pick on Blue Sky. I could make that happen. [00:56:57] Speaker A: That would be fascinating. I. I think I would like to see it. [00:57:00] Speaker B: Yes. Oh, gosh. Gold dust. Gold dust had an effect on me, as we all know. But yeah, Gold dust and Marlena, they proceed to be the hottest couple at the King Club or the worst couple at the corner bar in Toma, Wisconsin. It's one of those two. That energy, it's like either. Either, like, hell yeah. Sex positive. These two are great. Or it's like everyone's uncomfortable. I just came here for a burger. Why are you sucking tongue? Like, okay. Yeah, but Marlena is his actual IRL wife. I don't know if she's single now, but they're no longer together. I don't know about that. Well, yeah, that didn't go well. That gets worked into a storyline because of course it does. These. These people can't just have lives. It has to be done on tv. It's really unfortunate. Savio drops a banger of A promo. Even though I have no idea what he said. I do not speak Spanish. And the little bit that I do speak, not. Not that good and not that fast. But the joys of pro wrestling. I feel like I got the gist of it. Like, he got whatever he said. [00:58:14] Speaker A: It was exciting. [00:58:15] Speaker B: Yeah, it was very exciting. [00:58:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [00:58:17] Speaker B: I think he said he's gonna kick his ass is what he said. I'm guessing. So that. That seemed all right to me. He comes out, and sure enough, they start kicking each other's asses, like, right away. These two immediately. These two are so good. This is the guy who, like, told Goldust, hey, get really gay on me. Like, get real gay. Push it real hard on me. I don't care. You're gonna. It's gonna get you heat. And it seems to be working. And last week he did a lot of it. And this week, he straight up kisses him like, he gives him, like, a pet. [00:58:53] Speaker A: I love that. [00:58:54] Speaker B: I loved it. Oh, my God. And it was like. But it was a peck. Like, I've seen CIS het bros who are wasted after, like, a long night with their other bros, and it's like, is it goodbye because they're pretending to be French, you know, and there's like, yeah, you know, so it's fine that. That I've seen that. That's not even. That that's not that gay. But, you know, it's still right. I guess it's a big deal. They went all out. It excited me. I. I hope that everybody clutched. Clutched pearls. I hope there was so many clutch pearls. I love this. [00:59:38] Speaker A: There had to have been perfect. [00:59:40] Speaker B: They had to have been. He was going hard. No pun intended. No, Todra intended law. This. This was weird. I don't know if this. I don't know if there was, like, a news thing going on that made this make more sense, but it would felt worth noting because of the noise that Vince McMahon made. But Lawler said 36% of bosses peek at their employees email a reference that I might not. Yeah, I don't get. But the. He was like, oh, I'm so fat. How dare you? And like, they're further letting us know that Vince is the boss. Basically. It didn't quite make sense to me. [01:00:23] Speaker A: But okay, well, that. That's like what they're doing, right? But also, Vince obviously is not looking at anyone's emails. Do you know why I know this? [01:00:32] Speaker B: Why is that? [01:00:33] Speaker A: He doesn't know how to read. [01:00:36] Speaker B: You don't think so you think Vince is illiterate? [01:00:39] Speaker A: No, no. I'm pretty sure. [01:00:41] Speaker B: Oh, buddy. I wouldn't be surprised, to be honest. I don't. [01:00:45] Speaker A: That is my new headcanon. [01:00:47] Speaker B: Well, I mean, that's why, like, that's why he's had Linda so close. Linda reads everything for him. That makes sense. Like, Linda is always taking care, taking care of the business aspect. That's why. And now she's in charge of the Department of Education. Yay. Oh, I haven't said that out loud in a while. God, I really picked a hell of a time to do this show. They're in the White House, folks. They're in the wall. [01:01:12] Speaker A: It's not your fault. [01:01:13] Speaker B: But you know what? [01:01:14] Speaker A: We're here. [01:01:15] Speaker B: These are in the walls. We get a pretty in Ziguri from Savio on our way to commercial, though, with a little kick. That's good. So. [01:01:23] Speaker A: Oh, yes. [01:01:24] Speaker B: This makes my heart happy. He kicked real good. When we cut come back, I catch some cinema from the guys on the truck because Goldust has Javio in a leg hold. And then they cut to a shot running up Marlena's legs. And I was like, I see what you did there, guys. I, I, I see what you did. The word association. Well, well done, guys in the back. Me, you're, you're really making, making motion pictures here. You're making movies. And Vince McMahon is selling the sex folks. He doesn't know what to do with the gay sex machine he created, though. And that, that I don't. That's unfortunate because, like, he, he is the reason he unleashed gold dust on us as like a punishment to Dusty. And now it's just the gayest, most wonderful thing and he can't take it. [01:02:15] Speaker A: Yeah, like, that's, that's one of the things that like, I've kind of struggled with is just like, how did he, did he know that it was going to be so successful? [01:02:24] Speaker B: No. [01:02:25] Speaker A: Or was, did he really think. I, I don't know. [01:02:28] Speaker B: I think he, I think what he thought was that, what he thought is that Eric Bischoff is going to be on Nitro calling this a RuPaul impersonator and a transvestite. And that's going to please me because it's Dusty's kid and I hate Dusty Rhodes. So, like, I think he real. That's what he thought. He had no idea that people were going to love it so much. And at this point, like, they love it because they love hating him, but he's getting over the in the heel way. But, like, it's just so good. It's so Good. It's so very gay. And he, like. He created a monster just to make fun of this guy and fired back. So good. I love. I love when bad things happen to Vince and when good things happen to Dustin. Dustin deserves all the good things. So. Yeah, this was a fantastic match. Goldust goes to drop his ass on Savio's leg. And first he does, like, the sexy finger running up his chest. Flourish to the crowd. Yeah. Vince calls it Goldust and his Mac Machinations. He doesn't say machinations. He says machinations. [01:03:35] Speaker A: Machinations. [01:03:36] Speaker B: Eight minutes in and Vince has already been, like, weirder than usual that. I'm adding that to my list of Vince isms. Machinations is up there with unquestionably and wrestling and welcome, everyone. He does not know how to make. [01:03:52] Speaker A: He doesn't know how to say anything because he can't read because he. [01:03:57] Speaker B: Maybe that's why he doesn't know how he. He can't make vowel sounds because he's never sounded anything out. You're right. [01:04:04] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:04:04] Speaker B: Oh, wow. It's coming together. Jesus. Okay. I feel bad for him now we gotta help him. Except. But how to read. Yeah. No, if. Actually, no, maybe we shouldn't. That sounds like it could lead to bad things, actually. Like he. [01:04:19] Speaker A: No, but if he learned how to read, he might, like, read the news. [01:04:22] Speaker B: And realize I've been doing what, you know. Yeah. Like. [01:04:27] Speaker A: Like, if we start him off real slow with some, like, gentle kids books that, like, teach him about ethics at. [01:04:34] Speaker B: The same time, he might realize he's been a monster this whole time. He'll turn himself in. [01:04:38] Speaker A: That's what I'm thinking. [01:04:39] Speaker B: That would be yes, if he turned himself in. Either way, I need him to go to jail. So that might be the best way to make this happen. Fantastic. We get the trend of. [01:04:50] Speaker A: Anywho. [01:04:50] Speaker B: Anywho. That was a fun tangent. Thanks for going on that ride with me. Vince tells us that Ultimate Warrior is going to kick gold dust. Keister. That's another one. Speaking of words on Vince's words board, Keister. He will not say. He won't say asser. But it's Keister on commentary. At least he has to say it. I think like, two years from now, he'll be pulling his ass out on live TV and telling people to kiss it. No Keister involved. But for now, Keister Gotta. Gotta keep it clean, folks. This great match needs a little nonsense to break it up. They give us Ultimate. An Ultimate Warrior promo in window. What? How you feeling about. [01:05:33] Speaker A: What were they doing with that? They're bad. [01:05:36] Speaker B: Bad. You're feeling bad about Ultimate Warrior. It's nonsense. It's just. Yeah, people loved that guy. Can you believe that? People like that's a Hall of Famer. As a Hall of Famer and it does not make sense to me. But yeah, he just did nonsense there. He said a lot of things. He made grunty noises. It's. It's ultimate war here. I got nothing else to say. He's not going to be here long. I. I don't think he makes it too, too much longer. And yeah, he's dead now and that's good. He was a bad person. Jim Hellwig and Burning Hell. [01:06:18] Speaker A: That's. That's all we can say, right? When they're bad people, we just. [01:06:22] Speaker B: That's. That's how I feel. [01:06:24] Speaker A: That's enough. Thank you. [01:06:25] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly like that's how I feel. All right. Continuing to do this show is like, when they're bad people, I'm gonna call all bad people. So I feel not as bad watching this. Jim Helwig sucks ass. It sucks to suck. Glad you're dead. Ha. But not the fun one. Lawler makes a Deliverance joke again. What the. Low hanging fruit. Let's go. It's the 90s, Jeebus. Back to the graps though. Savio is awesome. I. I love me some Savio Vega. [01:06:58] Speaker A: Like I was. I think they both incredible. [01:07:01] Speaker B: No, that's. It's a really a hell of a start to. To Raw. Savio is selling like actually proper selling his leg. Like not like. Because some people get very pedantic. They'll be like, well, selling isn't reacting. There's reacting and they're selling. Selling is like reacting is reacting to getting hit. But selling is like limping because that part that got hit still hurts. You know what I mean? Like that's the difference. And he was really selling this whole match. It made like he couldn't stand on his leg basically. It was like that, that kind of level of physical acting. Good stuff. [01:07:40] Speaker A: It's beautiful. [01:07:41] Speaker B: Still dry mouth. Gosh. At one point we get a good, good spot that Goldust does a lot where he makes it look like he's gonna rape Savio's leg around the pole, but instead he gets his face pulled into it. That makes me happy. Anytime someone else gets their. Their bell rung. Not my bell rung. That's always good. All this rules, so Vince needs more distractions because this is an amazing match. It can't. They can't. That's what pisses me off. This is the thing. All this stuff happens. The ultimate warrior thing happens. All this other thing things go down to distract from what is a really great wrestling. And I like it makes you feel. [01:08:23] Speaker A: Like it's bad wrestling even though it's good wrestling just because, just because they're taking away from it so so much like. [01:08:30] Speaker B: Yeah, like you, like you're not supposed to enjoy this. Like, I don't know, like I feel like it's beating. I keep beating this drum is almost beating a dead horse, but like it keeps happening and I keep having to say it because it's really egregious that every time we get a good match Vince throws a bunch of other stuff on him because he doesn't think that the match itself will carry basically. But stone cold Steve Austin, Teddy Diebs coming out in green light because money to just kind of watch. They're the. Yeah, we, we had a cuckoldry on Nitro. These guys get the cuck chair on Raw. They don't get to actually get in the match. They just get to watch. Uh, good for them. I didn't mean to make that analogy, but it's actually kind of funny given what's going on in the ring. Because more importantly in the ring, Goldust has Savio in the corner and he's up on the second rope doing the thing where he punches down at him with his crotch near his face. And my God, does he do the thing. They pull to a different angle so you're seeing it from behind Gold dust and it really looks like he's his face a little bit. I love wrestling, but holy. Savio said, get Gare. And Dusty was like, hold my wig. [01:09:49] Speaker A: Yeah, like, like assignment. Understood? [01:09:52] Speaker B: Yes. Like I, I could, I could make this uncomfortably gay. I hope so many pearls got clutched. Vince calls it histrionics. And I was like, okay, yes, that is kind of how that word works. Yes. He did it. Good job. You got that one right. [01:10:10] Speaker A: It was like a luck thing. [01:10:11] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was. He's like, I'm just gonna pick a big word and hope that it works. Savio pulls a Bret Hart chest first into the buckle bomb kind of thing. And it's a really good one. It's not as good as Brett because like Brett does it better than anybody, but pretty good. Dustin catches him in what nowadays would be seen as getting set up for the crossroads. It says brother's move. But this, this is the first time Lawler calls this curtain call, which is like what actually ends up getting called for. Gold dust and that made, that makes me happy. I love every time you get a first like that of like. Oh, he called it the thing I know from the video games. [01:10:52] Speaker A: That's what it is. [01:10:52] Speaker B: Yeah, like oh, oh, I know that one. [01:10:57] Speaker A: I know it. [01:10:58] Speaker B: Yeah, I get that reference. [01:11:00] Speaker A: That's like, that's kind of how I felt when I saw gold dust is because I was like not only had I seen, seen gold dust prior but like having watched more recently. [01:11:11] Speaker B: Yeah, you've seen Dustin, seeing him still wrestle. [01:11:14] Speaker A: Yeah, seeing him still wrestle, like that's really cool, isn't it? Very weird. [01:11:19] Speaker B: I'll say. How do you feel about that? I love, I personally get so much joy from every time he's on the screen. But how do you feel about the fact that you're still seeing gold dust ungold dusted? [01:11:32] Speaker A: Like I'm happy because it's like, it's exciting, right? It's, it's good that he's still here and he's still putting in it, like putting in the work and like that he still loves it and everything. But it's also like bro, please retire. [01:11:44] Speaker B: Yeah, like you got it. [01:11:46] Speaker A: You gotta protect your body. You gotta do things right by yourself. [01:11:50] Speaker B: I think he's done better at that than a lot of people. I think he's one of the guys who got sober earlier than a lot of the other guys. And just from watching him work nowadays he's still, he hasn't slowed down much and he's doing a lot of the same moveset of the, of the Dusty or the Dustin that we're watching now in, in 96. It's pretty cool. And I don't know how he's managed to not hurt himself more. But he also like he took long breaks too where he wasn't doing in ring for like long periods of time. He's been okay. Like he, he, he got into acting. I've seen him in some indie movies that he was pretty awesome in and stuff like that. So he, he took a break and I think that's part of it too is when you're not constantly in ring, it doesn't stack up as fast. But he works as a coach at aw like I think especially with the women's division he works as a coach. He's been more on TV lately though. But he, he said he was going to retire last year. I remember him saying that it was his last year and now all of a sudden he, he resigned a three year contract and it's like okay. And I don't know how long but I feel like. I feel like Dustin might end up being like Sting was, where it's like, all right, buddy, we gotta. Has got to be done. But the thing is, if he can still go. I have a hard time telling a guy, stop doing the thing you love more than anything in the whole world. You know, like, who, right? Who are you to say you can't do this anymore when it's his body? [01:13:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:13:31] Speaker B: You know, that being said, I have no problem telling Ric Flair to never get in a ring again. [01:13:37] Speaker A: Well, that's different. That's different. [01:13:40] Speaker B: He died last time. Like, dude, you died. Like, you died. You died in the ring. Your heart stopped. I feel like that's a. Yeah, that's. [01:13:50] Speaker A: A good enough reason not to at that point. [01:13:52] Speaker B: That might be a sign from the. The Good Lord Jebus. So anyways, back got distracted again. Yay. And then I got distracted in a whole different way because he started petting chalk. And I was like, oh, it was a chalk. This is the problem of recording with video on occasions. Like, there's cats. And I'm like, oh, but there's cats. [01:14:13] Speaker A: Oh, but there's a kitty cat. [01:14:14] Speaker B: There's a kitty wrestling. Dustin goes for the crossroads. That was the beginning of that tangent. Lawler calls it the curtain call for the first time. Savio gets out of it, though. So Marlene is like, my time has come. I'm gonna distract the red. Savio gets Goldie in a pin up, but there's no ref. He's distracted, uh, as one does when you have a Marlena. So Stone Cold takes the million dollar rhinestone, like, Bratz belt and smacks Savio in the face with it. And Savio gets the win. And this pleases me because maybe like a month or so ago. Stephen. Steve. Stephen. Stephen Austin. I think we might have to kill this guy Stephen Austin. Now. I want that comic with Stone Cold instead of Steven Universe. I think we might have to kill this guy, Steven. I have to be. I have to be friends with someone who's friends with House of Decline. Make that happen, folks. But yeah, that, that he had a match like a month, month and a half ago with Savio where they had an amazing, like, barn burner of a match and they ended up both getting counted out. So it was a double count out. And they just kept fighting because they hated each other and, like, it was one of those things where, like, it was their first match together, but they just wanted to beat the out of each other. And that's my favorite kind of. That could be my favorite kind of wrestling Heat is like. It's nothing personal. Just something about you makes me violently angry. Like, I like that in my fake fights, you know, real life. That's not. That's not healthy in my fake fights. I really enjoyed this as a concept, so it pleased me that that was, like, coming back because they didn't really do anything after that. But now here's Stone Cold be like, no, I'm not done with you, dude. So well done, Stephen. What an opening match. God damn. I'm gonna start calling him Stephen now. That's gonna stick. Damn it. Oh, no. It's bad enough, folks. We're adding it. But Taskmaster gets called Tasky can't help it. Goldust is Goldie. Scott Steiner, scoot. And apparently Steve Austin is Stephen to me. And I am very sorry for all my listeners who are gonna have to just get used to it. Oh, yeah, yeah. But back from commercial Vader time, here comes a large boy speaking of chonk. Large boy, Lord, very large. A large gentleman, name of Big Van Vader. Oh, I have a question. Raising your hand. [01:17:04] Speaker A: Yes, yes. For the listeners at home, I'm raising my hand to ask this question. [01:17:10] Speaker B: Yes. [01:17:11] Speaker A: Can he breathe with that mask on? [01:17:14] Speaker B: I hope so, because, like, it does. It smashes his nose real hard, doesn't it? [01:17:20] Speaker A: Like, his face is flat. [01:17:22] Speaker B: He's pugging himself. It's like he wants to make himself into a smart face doggo. And. And, like, buddy, that's not good. Like, pugs have health problems. You don't want to do that. So I don't know how. All I do know is that it smells crazy in there. People have. [01:17:39] Speaker A: It does smell crazy in there, for sure. [01:17:41] Speaker B: People have complained. I guess he. Him and Balls Mahoney are, like, the two smelliest wrestlers of all time, apparently. And, like, you don't want to be known as. As smelly as a dude whose name is Balls. Like, that feels wrong. Because, I mean, I assume your name's Balls. I assume you probably stink like Balls. Your name is Balls. [01:18:03] Speaker A: That one adds up. [01:18:04] Speaker B: Yeah, it's like that. That's a. [01:18:07] Speaker A: If your name isn't Balls, if you're not destined, take a shower. [01:18:12] Speaker B: Yeah, take a. Maybe take a shower about it, Vader. Maybe. Maybe clean your gear, Vader. [01:18:18] Speaker A: Oh, Peter, take the mask off and then get in the shower. [01:18:23] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Otherwise, it's leather. It's just gonna get moldy and mild. Oh, God. We're familiar with the. The concept of pictures you can hear. Balls Mahoney is the name you can smell. There we go. Excellent. All right. I'm proud of myself. Good one, Garrick. Write that one down. There's no way this isn't a squash match because it's Vader. And that makes me feel awful because out comes Fatu, and I love Fatu. And it's like, oh, no. Fatu's gonna get squashed. [01:19:00] Speaker A: It was like two big boys, though. [01:19:02] Speaker B: It was two big boys. It wasn't quite a squash. Fatu actually got some pretty sick offense in on him. We come back from commercial and he's getting mauled, which is unfortunate. Vader, the. The Pokemon of Wrestlers Beta. So Fatu gets his together, though, and he starts hitting some offense. And I kind of was like, whoa. Because he knocks Vader down repeatedly, which I feel like you're not supposed to be able to do. And then out of the corner, he does, like, a running diamond cutter on Vader, which it wasn't the prettiest, but it was a really cool, like, early use of that move. But then Vince called it a bulldog because he sucks. He sucks. [01:19:45] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:19:46] Speaker B: This is one of the places I put tangent. Vince hate tangent. You own a wrestling company, Vincent. You hang out around wrestlers all day. You can learn what the moves are called. Like, you should. [01:20:01] Speaker A: Should even. [01:20:02] Speaker B: Should even. Not only can, yes, you should know what the moves are called. That was a cutter, not a bulldog. Bulldog would have been if his head was under his arm, not over. And now I realize I sound like a big old nerd. But you know what? I'm right. [01:20:17] Speaker A: Yes. Yeah, it's good. It's good. [01:20:20] Speaker B: Good nerd. Yes. [01:20:21] Speaker A: There's nothing wrong. [01:20:22] Speaker B: Yes, I'm nerd, but I'm. I'm a right nerd. So, you know, earlier I was talking about someone being pedantic. It's my turn. [01:20:32] Speaker A: This feels like the right thing to be pedantic about for you. [01:20:35] Speaker B: Thank you. Thank you. The. The diamond cutter goes well for him. He follows it up with an USO splash. The USO's are his kids, and when they do it, it's a new SO splash. So every time Fatu does a splash, I call it an USO splash. It makes me happy again. Time. Time machine. I'm working on it. Vader kit, or I'm not working out. I promise. Vader kicks out, basically. No, sells it. It's terrifying. He then Fatu, way up, gets him set up for the Vader bomb. And then something amazing, amazing happens. This is so cool. So Vader had, like, a legendary career before this, before he even got here. So people, the fans, know what he's capable of. Right? It's not like Vince treats it like he's this new guy I found. He's my new act. But everyone's like, no, no, this is Vader. We know what Vader can do. So I couldn't figure out what they were. These guys were chanting at some point. I thought they were chanting uso, because, like, again, I. That's his kids. And people will chant, ooh. So. And I was like, it kind of sounds like uso. And again, that means time travelers, which is a horrifying concept that I absolutely don't have an experiment running on in the sub basement. Instead, the fans are screen chanting like soldiers going into war. Moon, Salt. Moon, Salt. [01:22:05] Speaker A: Moon. Salt. [01:22:06] Speaker B: Okay, Salt. And I was like, oh. Because the dream of pro wrestling came true for those young men that day. They chanted it. And Big Van Vader went, ada. Ada. And he got all the way up to the top rope, and he hit that moonsault on Fatu, even though Fatu was way too close to it. Like. Like, when you go for the moonsault, you should. The guy laying down should be further out in the Vader bomb. Further in. And, like, you could tell that he. This was a. An audible. He's like, no, I'm going for it. These are yelling moonsault. I gotta. [01:22:45] Speaker A: You have to do the moonsault. Yeah. [01:22:47] Speaker B: Still hit him. It was amazing. That was on TV for free. I imagine Vince is in his pants. [01:22:58] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, my God. [01:23:00] Speaker B: Like, holy. Thank God something cool happened. I didn't even have to write it. That's all. That's all the cool stuff that happens on RAW is the stuff he didn't come up with. But yeah, Vader, he wins with that. Because of course he does. Like, that's. That you ain't gonna kick out of that. He wins. He gets in the camera's face. Who's the man? Who's the man? Vader. Ada. Good stuff. Over it. Over it. I love him. We get some really fun little, almost like, fan cam footage of the Germany tour, which was. Was kind of cute, actually. Sean's even doing house shows in Germany. Like that. That was pretty sweet. It was just like the. It was like they sent home footage of, like, what they did on their summer vacation. That's the vibe that it had. [01:23:46] Speaker A: Yeah, it was very like, hey, mom and dad, I'm. I'm studying abroad. This is how it's going. [01:23:51] Speaker B: Exactly. I'm studying abroad. I saw the ride. This is all really cool. Like, there were some house shows. Here's Sean stripping and and then footage of Jake the Snake versus Owen Hart. And I'm like, I got really excited because sometimes they will like show replays of pay per views during the Raw because they're. They're like ran out of other matches and they're like, we'll show you this. I was like, oh, are we gonna get to see like a Jake the Snake vs. Owen Hart House show in Germany? Like, that would be really cool. Of course not. They gave us the ending. And I'm guessing because it was a banger of a match, they're like, we're not gonna show them this. This is too cool. So we see less of the match and more of Bulldog attacking Jake because that's setting up a story for the pay per view. And again, why. Why show us good wrestling when we could show you bad storytelling instead? Basically. Very sad. [01:24:47] Speaker A: Yeah. My one note about that one was just that the Bulldog guy was rude because he kept kicking him. [01:24:53] Speaker B: He just kept going. He's very rude. To be fair, he was probably high on crack. Okay. And wasn't sure where he was. He was in Germany, but he didn't realize. And he just. He just told him out there, go, go, go. Stop the guy. And he's like, I'll do it. Yes. And he did it. So. Woo. I. I was just. Again, the whole thing was like, this could be really cool. And then it was so not what I wanted it to be that it ruined the whole segment for me. And I was like, all right, you just took the wind out of my sails. Raw, we come back from commercial and it's a hoot. Nanny and a hoedown brought to you by Winter Fresh Gum and GodWins vs. Jobber team of no names. And like, normally this is the part of the show where I would pause and google to like, figure out who these jobbers are. And like, if they went on to have careers, they never gave me these guys name. [01:25:52] Speaker A: Yeah, they never actually say. [01:25:54] Speaker B: They never say who these two dudes are. They are just literal, no names. And I'm sad because they can work. Like, I'm enjoying the wrestling that is going on here. And of course, almost like clockwork as I write down. I'm enjoy. I'm liking what I see here. Vince is like, all right, quick, something else. Do something else because Garrick's in the future enjoying this. We got to ruin it for them. So here. [01:26:21] Speaker A: He likes it. So switch it up. [01:26:23] Speaker B: Yeah, no, it's too good. We gotta bring it down. So here comes Sunny with the tag belts to be a Distraction. And like, yay. Cool. I love sunny. Super hot. Awesome. Wonderful. Again, you're distracting me from an amazing match. But basically she comes out to distract Hillbilly Chin, which doesn't even make sense. And the. He chases her with the dawko blue. [01:26:44] Speaker A: That was just so good. [01:26:46] Speaker B: It was great because I love, like, the darko blue, but also it's just unnecessary. Okay, I hate this. Back to the good wrestling. And, yeah, it's. It's almost like they heard how me and Erica last week were talking about how great RAW was because, like, nitro was so bad and Vince was like, hold my hgh. Like, I'm. I'm gonna. [01:27:06] Speaker A: I'm gonna change that. [01:27:08] Speaker B: I'm gonna change that. You'll be talking about us this week, Eric. God damn. Goblins get the win with the Slop drop. And then immediately the Body Diamonds are here to further their storyline. More importantly, these two sick for us wrestling sickos out here. They did the double slingshot suplex on Phineas Godwin, where they both got him up and they bounced him off of the top rope. And like, I don't know, man. Phas Godwin is a large American. I can't believe they did that. That was one of those things. I was like, all right, that's. That was pretty cool. [01:27:45] Speaker A: Yeah, that was a feat. [01:27:46] Speaker B: Yeah, it's one of those things where, like, I'm not happy with the story going on around this, but that was pretty sweet. Mark that one down. That was sick. Then they slopped the out of them, and it's gross. And I'm sad. Again. That was. That was really gross slopping. That was a particularly nasty one. Like, it got in his mouth and stuff. I'm sorry, listeners, if I had to watch it, you had to experience it too. We come back from commercial and Alderman Alder Montoya is going to get fed to mankind. This pleases me. It's Mick Foley's only his second match on Raw. This is only the second time that he's actually, like, fought, and it's pretty, pretty sick. I do find it funny, though, that he says it's a deranged individual. And I'm like, babies, let's go. That's my people. You're. You got. You got the queer guy and the. The mental illness guy. This is like my whole personality. This is where it came from, because we had the queer phobia and that wasn't enough representation for me. We gotta do the Ableist too. And I really feel represented. This is awesome. So the match gets rolling Commentary tells us mankind is basically Freddy Krueger. I'm like, yeah, yeah, really lay it in, guys. He's cool, though. How do you feel about mankind in general? Do you. This is the first time I think you've seen him. How do you like, man? [01:29:17] Speaker A: Yeah, he frightened me a lot. I was scared. I was actually scared. [01:29:23] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, legit. [01:29:25] Speaker A: I was like. Like legit. Like, watching that match when he starts ripping out his own hair. I was like. I had just look away. [01:29:33] Speaker B: Yeah, and he, like, he would literally do that. [01:29:37] Speaker A: He was just ripping it out in, like, big chunks. And, like, I was like, I don't know where he's going with this. And it scares me, basically. [01:29:45] Speaker B: Yeah. No, that's Mick. He really, like, he hit something with this, and, like, he gives it his in, as you would say, his whole. Mick Foley puts his entire. Into his character, and it really. [01:30:02] Speaker A: Yes, he does. [01:30:03] Speaker B: Yes, he does. And it really shows here because it legit scared you. And that was. Was the idea. Like, he wants people to be freaked out by how unwell he is, basically. And it works, like. But he used to, like, actually, literally, like, some of it's shaved, but he would, like, literally pull his own hair out. And the squealing. The squealing. Oh, my God. I'm pretty sure he stole the steel. The squealing from Terry Funk. I'm pretty sure. I've heard Terry Funk make those squeals in the past, but either way, it's great. I love Mankind. He does a lot of my favorite Mankind things this match, too, which is good. He does the. What's it, The Tree of Woe, where he hangs them upside down in the corner and then, like, runs and drops an elbow on his face while he's hung upside down. That was sick. More people need to do that in aew. Not enough people do that. That was sick. They really like that. And then the pile driver, where he just grabs him by the pants and pulls him down. That's a Mankind classic. And then, of course, squealing as he shoves his fingers in the mouth for the win. [01:31:08] Speaker A: Oh, my God, the fingers in the mouth. I. I looked away for that, too. I was like, oh, no, no, no, no. [01:31:14] Speaker B: Like, the worst way you could possibly lose a match is just get your fingers shoved down your throat. Yeah, no, I. I have a bad gag reflex, too. And it's just like, I. Everything about that is like, oh. Oh, God. I love Mankind because he's terrifying. [01:31:32] Speaker A: Really? [01:31:32] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:31:33] Speaker A: It's so upsetting. [01:31:34] Speaker B: Right? And one of my favorite parts of the Mankind gimmick as well, is that when he wins, he has two theme musics. He has the theme music he comes out to with the strings, like the me. And then when he wins, he gets this, like, soothing, literally, Tori Amos inspired piano music that, like, soothes the beast. And it's like this beautiful little. [01:32:01] Speaker A: It's so. Yeah, it's so interesting that they do that. [01:32:04] Speaker B: That's all. That's all Mick. That's all. That was all his. His idea is. Is that he's like, I want to have a different song for when I win is like my victory song. And they're like, and. And this is part of the process. At least back then, when a guy would come in like Vincent say, look, this is the gimmick you're getting. But as far as what that gimmick is and what that gimmick means, they get to kind of try to, you know, figure that out. I. I liken it to, like. Like when a voice actor gets a part and it's like, okay, well, you gotta, like, figure out what that. Like, you can read the character on the screen, but you have to figure out what that character. Character sounds like, you know, like. [01:32:52] Speaker A: Yeah, you have to come up with. [01:32:54] Speaker B: It a little bit to interpret what that means. So Vince says, this is who you are. But then Mick gets to interpret what that means. And one of the things that they'll do is they'll send you to the music guy and for him to write a theme song. And his thing is, okay, what do you like? Like, what's a band you're listening to right now? What's a song that you like? And he will just take something from, like, a song or a band and just write a. A knockoff version of it, and that's your theme song. So, like, when Stone Cold Steve Austin becomes Stone Cold and gets his Shattered Glass theme song, that's like his iconic theme song. He said, I like Bulls On Parade by Rage against the Machine. So the next time you hear the Shattered Glass theme song, if you listen to it, you realize that it's. It's Bulls on Parade. [01:33:44] Speaker A: Wow. [01:33:44] Speaker B: So Mick Foley came to him, and, you know, all these guys are going, well, I like this heavy metal and I like this hardcore rock. And McFoley's like, I like Tori Amos. The guy's like, are you serious? All right, I guess. [01:34:01] Speaker A: I mean, they made it work. [01:34:02] Speaker B: Yeah, I guess I'll come up with some Tori Amos sounding music for. For your. The guy who rips his hair out and squeals like a Pig. I love them. Yeah, Mankind. That's. That's awesome. It. I'm sorry that I scared you with the stuff I gave you, but I'm also not sorry. I'm extremely pleased that it works so well. Good. Good on you, Mankind, for being so good at this that you freaked. You freaked my friend, not Anne Hathaway out. [01:34:31] Speaker A: Yeah, we can't, can't be expecting anything. [01:34:33] Speaker B: Different with Vaseline if it doesn't freak you out a little bit. I mean, come on now. [01:34:38] Speaker A: Yeah, seriously. [01:34:39] Speaker B: Then we, we go from that art to a real graphic design is my passion. Video package showing us Brett or Shawn Michaels and Diesel's run up for the pay per view. Woo. And this just continues. And I'm just kind of sad and confused because there's, there's only five minutes or so left. And like, I'm like, okay, well, it seems like they're just going to use all this time telling the story again of the last couple months of what led up to this. They already did this twice this week on this show. And then like, it, it became clear. No Mankind main evented Raw this week. Good. [01:35:19] Speaker A: Yeah, good. [01:35:20] Speaker B: Good on you, Mick. What a lazy end to Raw, but good on you, Mick. [01:35:27] Speaker A: Happy. Yeah. [01:35:28] Speaker B: There was like a low energy promo from Kevin from Germany, but that's, that's, that's it. That's raw. Like, okay. And it once again, everything feels right with the world because Nitro was at least meh and Ross sucked again. And. And I feel like everything makes more sense for me. But yes, we did it. You have now watched four episodes of 90s wrestling for my silly problematic press wrestling podcast. [01:36:00] Speaker A: I sure have. And that's a lot. That's actually kind of a lot. That's a habit. [01:36:05] Speaker B: That's. Yeah. [01:36:06] Speaker A: Pretty sure it's a habit amount of times. [01:36:08] Speaker B: Yeah. I was gonna say if you do it one more time, it's a problem. [01:36:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:36:14] Speaker B: Like three people who are three Pete guests now. And at this point it's like they know all three of them are people are like, no, I know. Like this is a problem. And like a co worker and two people who are like my. I call them my five horse people. Like, they're basically the first five guests that I have are like ride or dies for this show now. So perfect. [01:36:35] Speaker A: That's how it should be. [01:36:38] Speaker B: But yes, we did it. They like to come around for the watch parties that folks can come listen to. We're doing one this weekend, we're doing one tomorrow, but this show won't be out until after it's done. Hahaha. Boo. But thank you. Thank you for coming back and saving my ass. We had another guest lined up but they could not make it again. So. Woo. This is, this is why I keep y'all in the box. [01:37:06] Speaker A: We gotta stay in the box. Thank you for letting me out of the box. It's nice to come out and play. [01:37:10] Speaker B: Yeah. And I swear again, this is a theoretical, I'm joking about this box. Much like that I'd mentioned before. That's just a joke. It's theoretical, it's not real. So this box, the gorilla position where I take all the old hosts and I just, or old guests and I just put them in the box and they play and like Erica said, I give them cheese. There's enrichments. But yes, you're welcome. Out of the box again. Thank you. That's why that box is there. Because if a new guest can't make it, all of a sudden I can just reach into the box and I have my, my possessions, if you will. My clothes. Like I was like, I was like, I was like, how can I make this bit even worse? Like you know, my position, my lab rats, if you will. Yeah, I'm sorry. I, I, I, I like folks. I keep leaning into the MST3k of it all. It makes me giggle to imagine myself a mad scientist torturing people with wrestling. Can't help it. But thank you, thank you for coming back for more torture. I hope you had a fun time with the torturing. Did you have a favorite match this week? [01:38:17] Speaker A: I did and you're not gonna believe which one it is. [01:38:20] Speaker B: Oh no. What? [01:38:22] Speaker A: Vader. Vader and Fatu. Because it was meaty. I love meaty boys. I love what big meaty boys wrestle. [01:38:31] Speaker B: Yes, yes, yes. You meet. Yeah. You're an AEW fan now. You understand. AEW invented that. That's aw original. The meat. Do you know, has your boyfriend explained to you the, the, the origin of meat? [01:38:49] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:38:50] Speaker B: Okay. [01:38:50] Speaker A: Yeah, we've gone through meat. We don't have time right now to talk about meat. [01:38:54] Speaker B: Okay. [01:38:54] Speaker A: But that, that match was just so inherently meat that I was like, it's my favorite one. [01:39:00] Speaker B: It was big meaty men slapping meat is what that was. So I'll give you that. Yeah, My match of the week was Eddie Benoit because I'm a simple, simple lady. [01:39:09] Speaker A: That was really close for me. It was really, really close. [01:39:13] Speaker B: Even with the, the CT and awful violent end. [01:39:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:39:17] Speaker B: Like it's two friends who know each other really well, doing real good. Real good. And I, I just can't help it. I will say, as far as, like, who won this week? Raw or nitro? I just wrote Vader moonsaulting. [01:39:32] Speaker A: Yes, that was Vader. Vader won this week. [01:39:35] Speaker B: Yeah, Vader won this week. Those guys who chanted moonsault until he actually did the thing. They won. [01:39:44] Speaker A: They won. They're. Who won. You heard. You're right about that. [01:39:47] Speaker B: Those bros won this week. Awesome. [01:39:49] Speaker A: Well, and we're happy for them. [01:39:51] Speaker B: I'm happy for them. Thus, we all win. Would you like, where can people find you if you want to be found? [01:39:58] Speaker A: Oh, gosh. [01:39:59] Speaker B: What are things you should promote about yourself? [01:40:02] Speaker A: I would prefer that instead of finding me, people find a food shelter in their own city and donate there. [01:40:10] Speaker B: There you go. [01:40:10] Speaker A: I'm not Anne Hathaway, and I hope everyone has a beautiful night. [01:40:14] Speaker B: I'm not Anne Hathaway and I approve this message. [01:40:17] Speaker A: That's right. [01:40:18] Speaker B: Fantastic. Well, thank you everybody else for listening again, and we will see you next time on Monday night. Fake Fights. Goodbye. [01:40:38] Speaker A: Ghost Coast Studios. Thanks for listening.
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